Alone or Lonely ??

 

Everyone says I’m not alone, so why do I feel like I am?

Friendship, relationship & situation-ship are all circumstantial. As human beings, we often perpetuate from an end of having too many friends to another end of having none. We enjoy both, we despise both and we are comfortable with both the terms. Does age, experience and distance have something to do with it? I am not sure, but at this point in life, a lot of outward relationships are either a happy blur or a comfortable clear.

I grew up in a conflicting nuclear family of 4 members, conflicting because our guest room was never vacant, because we never really were just us as a family and there were always people in and out. That could be a reason why some of us often do not look for outward relations if there is so much happening in the living room & backyard.

My growing up years were constant mobile life with a dozen change in schools & hence friends. It was like adding a handful of fruit loops to the bowl once the existing fruit loop in the bowl settles into the warm milk. I knew I could not manage them all but had the bowl full anyways and always. This constant mobility, now I feel, always made me switch on the reptilian brain trying to survive, detecting threat and being alert about the changes in life. These changes often do not let me relax, let me trust the surrounding and confide to the people I meet. Best friends remain a myth from then on.

Not to be judged as an absolute looser of a narcissist, I have made friends who are close and chime...…some stayed while some fell through the cracks. Some friends during these journeys went in our separate ways and never grew apart. Hence, my closest friends are evidently far away. We are OK with that because that’s how life happened. We generalised being far away. We became comfortable with separation and before we realised, we looked forward to the relationships we built around our disconnected lives. We are disconnected like our mobile phone services, which we continue from where we left when the connectivity is back. Lovely, immaculate and wonderful.

On the other hand, with people around me, I don’t click on small talks, birthdays, children and societal pressure of the forbidden topics. We don’t connect at a deeper level with masks of superficiality and confirmation bias. Then comes the problems called social media which are symptoms of greater issue, rather than the cause where my surrounding devours themselves in front of filtered lenses to capture the perfect selfie. I simply & apologetically choose to remain in the glory of my own solitude.

Tough times often make us stoic and a fiercely independent person.  We don’t align to a group of hyper-polarised people who forces high levels of conformity and docility. I cannot discuss endless diets, fasting, podcasts, self-love, self-care & fitness regime. Every judgement, from this point onwards, manifest 10-fold making it impossible for me to connect, be vulnerable, or feel an emotional closeness with these individuals around. Who will ever again talk about empathy, books they read, art they do, a real movie, food, a small adventure, a big plan, some heart-breaks, some healthy gossips, and some ambiguities of life.

Where are these people living, scattered around the world, in their own corners?

Every one of us who feels they are alone are truly together.

Lessons learned after my forty years of experience:

40's are turning out to be the most liberating years of my life. Revelations of looking at things from completely different perspectives, managing relationships, drawing clear lines and stepping away to analyse – I wish I was in my 40’s a few decades & a handful of mistakes ago.

Lessons learned after my forty years of experience:

1.      Make peace or walk away – With everything and everyone. There are just 2 ways to inner peace.

2.      I cannot change people – Advises, lectures, grey hair talks do not work. It is not my responsibility to bring about betterment in other’s life. Trying to play God and save the world will not bring about any change in my life. The moment you try to convince someone, you have lost the plot. The truth does not require persuasion, coaxing, or coercion—it is the truth whether you’re convinced or not.

3.      Parents will never understand – generations together, no parents will understand their children and children will never understand their parents. I have started addressing my feelings to my immediate family, not expecting any changes but letting them know. The decision to stop generational trauma, and stop being the same parents is for my future of change

4.      Siblings are just an extension of parents – there is no point in draining the peace over family. There is no end to what can be done for them and there is no visible light at the end of the tunnel.

5.      Friends are not forever – we will always make friends on the path of life, some friends will stay, some will move on. Always know who is who in the “forever friends” and continue.

6.      Relatives and rodents – both are great when they are in the other side of the glass box. They are visitors, there is not much thought on them.

7.      Embrace the changing time – Acknowledge that the worst time will pass, the good time will pass too. Just because we don’t agree with a situation, does not mean it is wrong.

8.      “It is our culture” translates to “It is our ego” – I will continue being volatile, upholding and ready to work on adopting to the surrounding. There is nothing called culture – what is right and what is wrong are completely human made, personal, situational & a perspective.

9.      Religion is not a DNA configuration – Religion is not a hand down from our parents, it is a belief system that brings inner peace to an individual in whatever way I choose.

10. Let Go – Material to toxic relationships, just let go. Liberate & breathe.

11. Decluttering does not work – Stop cluttering in the first place. Every time I pick up something, I have started asking myself why I need it. If I don’t have an answer, I put it back.

12. Organising is well placed hoarding – I have come to an age where I just keep things simple, clean and organised. Over organising, labelling, and colour coding is more hoarding of things that will go into the boxes and never come out.

13. Love people and use things – I have started valuing time people spend with me & the happiness of their company; over gift they buy and the noise they create.

14. Minimalism is crap – Getting rid of excess stuff can be freeing and even exciting, but it isn’t inherently meaningful. Freeing up space will not bring about achievement into the newfound space. Fill in the gaps with goodness, beautiful things and build a happy place.

15. Scrolling is the new smoking – I have started walking few feet away at a time, from the technology bound zombie surrounding by not continuously scrolling. We don’t want to see, know or read advice, affirmations and virtual hugs. Let’s have real conversation.

16. Money is material – I need money more than anything, but not for everything. There is no rainy day that money can save. Self-care is important as much for the body as for the soul. Stacking money in the bank is liability, spending it in meaningful hobbies and multiplying it is what will keep me in the game.

17. Advertisement is the poison – Don’t live in the pressure to advertise power, position, and possessions. This disturbs the peace; it is as vicious as pushing oneself into over-consumption. It indoctrinates our surroundings, gives rise to politics, fuels hatred, fake news and loses sincerity in relationship.

18. I am not the fixer for all – The more I try to fix, more things will change its original form. If the problem is me, I will eliminate it, not fix it. If the problem is someone else, I will not try to fix it.

19. Conditional love – is the truth. There will always have to a return of my love with things that are not purchased.

20. Success does not exist – Success comes from succession, that which we get without chasing. A job, a promotion, assets, money – does not define success as it is chased through hard work, suffering and failure. There is no end to the chasing game; there is no end to what the ultimate definition of success will be.

Reader Review: What's Good About Falling

Book: What's Good About Falling

Author: Prajwal Hegde

Publisher: Harper Collins Publishers India

Genre: Fiction

Ratings: 4.0/5

ISBN: 9789353024642

Number of Pages: 317

Review Date: 23rd July 2019

Review on behalf of – Self

My Ratings: 4.0/5

Plot – 3.5/5

Characters – 4.5/5

Style – 4.5/5

Climax – 4/5

Cover Page – 3/5

What's Good About Falling - is an allowance for every reader to take a sneak peak of what happens beyond the sports in a sportsman's life. 

The cover of the book says most of the story. The publication being Harper Collins, the expectation of copy editing and cover page build is much greater than what it is.

Prajwal is a passionate TOI Tennis Editor, she breathes the essence of good sports. Her association with the sports and the sportsmen helped her build a detailed story line which I will give her as kudos. Not only tennis, she has walked beyond her comfort ground to detail cricket as a sport and a cricketer as well. 

The story is an almost predictable one, it is about 2 young kids with similar career falling in and out of love and finally a grand comeback. That would be like most fictions. What went different here was the details of an orthodox household, day to day life of the each person who has walked into this novel. The feeling of a player, a woman, a man, a mother, a father, a coach - everyone has their own story that comes together throughout the novel. 

The novel describes 2 human being behind fame and publicity, the actions that cannot be taken back, those moments of sportsman and the reasons behind an action followed by social media trolling.

The story has been knitted very nicely with easy and colloquial language.

Overall, this is a 4.5 from me. I would definitely want to read Prajwal's next authored.

The Marie Kondo Method - Get over it !!

We are constantly looking for things in our house and the things we look for are the things we have taken great care to keep it in a safe and secure place. What we find is not what we are looking for. When we need it, we do not know where to find it. This is the story of every household and these are things around which the household conversations happen, emotions live, moments happen. These things that we buy, decorate, arrange, hide, store, re-invent – they are the life of a household. If everything is boxed, tagged, labelled and kept in a place of order, it would be like a supermarket.

Who want their house to look like an Ikea store? Who wants to throw away everything that you don’t need or don’t use? The wedding clothes – they are hardly ever worn again, hope no one must wear it again. Saying that, would you not be happy to look at it now and then and keep it back. Do anyone wants to say thank you for sparking joy and put the wedding gown in the trash can, no……!! My mother’s hand-woven scarf and woollen cap. It is not something I wear anymore, maybe I will never wear them, do I say thank you for sparking joy and throw it in the thrash can? Photographs – our memories, gifts from friends’ miles away – physically and emotionally, books the life of a house, toys of your children, these are the things that makes a home. Why do we choose a home and not live in a hotel, a serviced apartment or an AirBnB forever? Because we all need that place which will have the smell and feel of our surrounding – parents, friends, photographs, partners. A home is like our partners, never perfect always work in progress. Given a chance, Marie Kondo will walk into our home and have us thank each other for sparking joy and have us walk out into our own trash cans or boxes.

Here is how I want my house. Organise the house in such a way that I have what I need only and that will contain my childhood and college memories, things from my hostel, the tomboy cap that I will never wear again but have it in my closet, the totally mismatched junk jewelleries that I have collected all my life. I will have all my books, whether I read them or not, I will continue to have my cassette players, records and CDs even though I will never ever play them. I will continue to have empty bottles of wine in the bar counter because they are attached to special moments like send-offs and break-ups and celebrations. But…………………. I will keep them all so that they look like I cherish having them. I will not dump them randomly in some corners of the house.

What we really need in our life is a little time to start organising our house, cleaning the mess we end up making and arranging things. We need to make some time to start shelving, organising and do a round of monitoring to what is pure trash and what is not. Throw away the torn shoes and broken, rusted and cobwebbed utilities. Box things and store them. Do your dishes regularly and put the newspapers away into the bin regularly. I watched the videos that went on air in Netflix – most of the houses needed the people to stop being lazy and do the basic cleaning. Set up the cutlery drawers, buy storage jars to keep kitchen supply, do your laundry and put back your clothes into the wardrobe, arrange your wardrobe once in every 1-3-6-12 months.

Who needs Marie Kondo to put your life together?

You don’t know how to fold your clothes? You don’t know how to arrange your kitchen? Well – You need to make friends people with cleaner houses. Try not being judgemental and go to where you go for your Guru, Yoga and Ayurveda. Marie Kondo did not invent anything, she just targeted the people who had no clue what was happening with their life. We have been folding our shirts and keeping our house crystal clean even without her, from a long time back, since generations together. We have been thanking our life and home every day- just not in Netflix. We have always known about not throwing away boxes, re-cycling stuffs, re-using boxes and putting things in place.

Parents these days have an easy solution to their created mess; they call it children. Their houses are dirty because of children, their laundries are not done because of children, the wardrobe cos children, the kitchen ...cos the children; please don’t give the excuse of children. We have been there and our mothers have done a much better job than us. Send the children to play school and get your mess together. Start somewhere because today children can sit in a place if you hand over the iPad but we did not have a choice. Our mothers had to mind us constantly from picking mud and insect and putting them in the mouth.

Don’t pay a bomb to Marie Kondo, spend some time in DIY home beautification as a family. There is no ending to throwing away things, it was not an environmental way to disposing things either on Netflix. Try and re-use things as they really spark joy. Marie Kondo does not.

Walk Of Death

America surprises me…yet again. The greatest nation of the world has 79 mass shooting records in a span of 30 years which is way higher than the total number of mass shooting that has taken place in the history of the last 30 years. And these are not fighting for freedom or colonisation.  It is during the time of living the most comfortable life in the time of human civilisation.  Of course, the United States has permissive gun licensing laws as per the 2nd Amendment which allows which everyone but specially prohibited groups of persons to purchase a firearm. An individual does not have to justify purchasing a weapon; rather, the licensing authority has the burden of proof to deny gun acquisition. Isn’t that amazing way to a dignified social security?

Why do mass shooting happen is something the USA should give some serious thought to. It is the basic action that needs to stop in that country, the biggest picture of which is fighting terrorism. A country with ban on firearm possession can then classify of domestic terrorism and international terrorism which should again include providing ammunition to the countries that need food, clothing, medicine, shelter and earnings. The majority of active shooters, as per my thinking, are linked to mental health issues through being bullied and discontented in personal or professional life. They are also driven by a variety of personal or political motivations that are not aimed at weakening the government legitimacy but some kind of revenge or a quest for power. From the Labor Day of 1949 a Howard Unruh started this “Walk of Death” and till today, the USA has no answer to stop or control ownership and use of firearms in the civil neighbourhoods. It is time to stop saying that guns make us safer.

Gun control does not hurt anyone’s freedom. It is important for a nation to have ban on the possession of the firearms. Gun control and healthy community is very similar to the relationship between the speed limit and the seat belt of a car. We all know it is a lobby of high $$$ and that is where America denies to pass a sensible gun legislation and take control of their own doings.

 What is required is an access to a better and affordable medical health system for the Americans and not the access to guns.  The government, society and parents must start filling the lives of the American kids with community feeling, voluntary activities and affordable medical/psychiatric assistance when needed, sow the sense of accountability for their actions and not hand them with a gun to make them feel safe. In the end, I must quote by DaShanne Stokes, “When a country with less than five %  of the world's population has nearly half of the world's privately owned guns and makes up nearly a third of the world's mass shootings, it's time to stop saying guns make us safer.” 

The Closed World.....

There are a lot of things that I often want to go back and change. I am not sure whole fault they were. They were faults that we all could have stopped them to happen. We all would have been out there if we could do without some of those faults. Finally it is not you or me that changed our world, it is the fault that did.

Future is more important than the bygones. The windshield that guides us forward is much bigger than the rare view mirror. Don't look back and mend the broken or try to fit in. 

Life has been a torrential welcoming lesson in the past. We learn to push ourselves to the edge of a handshake with death. We get accustomed to fear no one, We fear nothing. At one side of our life, we see life slip away in front of the eyes and on the other side we learn to mend a shattered soul to a new beginning. We stand strong with an Armour of faith and sail through a handful of friends.

This is life lesson. 

I distaste small talks. If you fancy, let us talk about life for time no bound. The crowd of the biologically related voices don't trigger my happiness to a handful friend in the peace of my comfort zone. Their judgement do not define me or your or anyone different among a crowd.

My journey different from yours. All our journeys are different. Different colors, different destinations and different journeys as well. It is not a competition, it is the containment of this journey. The marks under my shoes are the experiences I have gathered. I can count my good friends at the tip of my fingers and make a fist so strong. I do not have a long list of names to - miss when I am gone, be happy when I am back and remembered when I am required. My list is small, my circle is strong and my love is connected for them.

I have opened up to a world of infinite..... became the introvert.

Pardon Me !!

Lost Thoughts

And I took a step back. Is it time yet….?? Is it time to take a deep breath and count the time in my fingers? This is a day and that was a day. This is the time …. To take a plunge into the binocular of beautiful dreams I flipped in the magazine and would come out in the open to hug me tight. 

This is the day I feel I wish I had many more calendars with pictures of the Neverland’s. The dates in the calendars do not exist anymore, the beauty of the pictures float in front of my eyes. 

I have always been bad with numbers. So bad…that my instinct guide me to look up for an important date that I am about to miss. I am bad with figures, neither graphs interest me nor does my ever rising weight encourage me to do something about it. I said I am bad with figures.

The only thing I have believed in are colors of life, scent of the breath, touch of the nature and tiny triumphs of happiness. Dreams have no wings. If they had false flitting shapes, they would never be seedlings of reality. I tend to tread the reality; they let the dreams last as long and as far as I want them to. 

It’s like Deja-Vu all over again!! Or it is not. It is the opposite of the same feeling. It is a reality that I have dreamt of. It is the life I lived every moment. They are the paths I have taken always. But they are not. They are different all together, unfamiliar.

I have never been in those paths and they is full of strangers. Jamais Vu…. All !!!

Reader's Review: Rise Of The Grey Prince

Book: Rise Of The Grey Prince

Author: Arka Chakrabarti

Publisher: Srishti Publishers and Distributors

Genre: Fiction

Ratings: 4.0/5

ISBN: 9382665315

Number of Pages: 230

Review Date: 25th March 2015

Review on behalf of – Readers Cosmos

My Ratings: 4.5/5

Plot – 4/5

Characters – 4/5

Style – 3.5/5

Climax – 4/5

Cover Page – 5/5

 

To start with the Cover Page of the book, it gives an accurate image of the story line. I felt the cover page creates the suspense of the narration in the first look. This book is a continuation of the 1st book The Secrets of the Dark. So for the ones like me who did not read the first one, this one will fall apart here and there. However, complete justice done by the author that he has kept that in mind and avoided losing out on a group of reader base who had missed the first one. The story line had been supported by a good amount of background.

The revelation of Agni is mesmerizing; his search for knowledge about his very existence, his prodigy and the compulsions that he had to give in to in order to reach them has been narrated with a lot of passion. The description of Malini, his love has a lot of aggression and drama which has been beautifully described. Connecting the past to his Present is a tremendous work that the author has done here.

The topic a difficult one and the story line being a continuation of the first, there were places where the author created a whirlpool of thoughts. It could be a part of Arka’s pattern to keep the readers guessing at times or assumptions to play around his writing. The plot takes off gradually and unfolds as we read it and finally when the story is supposed to come to an end, there is suspense of open ended orator ship. This can be analyzed as both good and bad depending of the psyche of the reader. For me, it was a good read and the assumption of the story line at the end has given me a more settled thought about the author’s narration.

 

This Book review is a part of The Readers Cosmos Book Review Program and Blog Tours. For details log on to thereaderscosmos.blogspot.com

Reader Review: The Recession Groom By Vani

Book: The Recession Groom

Author: Vani

Publisher: LEADSTART PUBLISHERS

Genre: Fiction

Ratings: 3.5/5

ISBN: 9384226580

Number of Pages: 295

Review Date: 28^th February 2015

Review on behalf of - The Readers Cosmos

My Ratings: 3.5/5

Plot – 3.5/5

Characters – 5/5

Style – 4/5

Climax – 4/5

Cover Page – 4/5

My Review: "The Recession Groom" is a onetime good read. The story is not very predictable. Author has done a good justice to the characters by portraying the stereotypical relationships in the Indian society of an extra affectionate aunt, the grandmother with a modern outlook, an obviously over protective sister and the over enthusiastic neighbors.

The story line is good. The narration is also interesting. The connections of time and place have been very well designed considering the different actions and mindsets of people involved.

The miss in this books are the illogical hard tries that the author has given in making location changes in a matter of 3 days, convincing the client of an IT MNC so easily, running behind the realized love without even knowing anything about her current situation and people being so engrossed in the situation of the subject that the Indian Man is the victim of all social obligations, very unlikely.

On the whole, a refreshing note of onetime read.

This Book review is a part of The Readers Cosmos Book Review Program and 
Blog Tours. For details log on to thereaderscosmos.blogspot.com"

What are we afraid of?

Fear of not doing or not being able to takes most of us in most we do. It the fear even a truth or even a worth to deal with and if it were would there be people killing it everyday to take the risk they want to. One thing is required to come to realisation and that one thing is either to kill the fear or get killed by it.
Fear of what others will think of you is the most common killer so far. Who has the ownership of being judgemental? Who has the submission to take on to the judgements given. No one can ever travel the journey of another to understand how much it takes for a person to overcome and be one self and not replicate an already existing someone else.
The fear of not having enough of - money or material. This journey of life to face the mirror at the grave has been planned alone. So face the mirror contented of the journey so far and wish you have lived more to do what you have loving to do and not to make the corrections of all the doings. Money and Material is not our friends to the grave, well no one is. At least live a fulfilled life trying to kill the fear of insecurity.
The fear of loosing a job is less about the job and more about the identity on line. First of all, if you are good enough, there should not be fear to loose. If there is the fear, you are not good enough. Work has to be done to get things on track. We do not have a job that offers us ultimate happiness, but if we are in one that offers us nothing it is time to kill the fear and look for a different one. If we are not finding one, we are not looking enough for the one we should be looking for.

The choices we are born with needs to be executed, the choices that we think we deserve are to be made by us. Someone else will not make our choices  for us and if someone else is doing that, then it is in their benefit and cannot be blamed. You are the one who have to face the fear and overcome it. You are one who have to fight your own battle if you want to be the one who wants to win the battle.

Is it Valentine in our head yet????

Is it the day to celebrate love yet? A tacky celebration of retails and F&B does define the celebration of love with cards,flowers,dinner,drink and gift. That one day says it all. We start afresh, to encourage love in the months to come till next year. Will love bloom really and will all the sour go away with the tiny celebration of thanking one another of being there during the past times of high and low. Oh yes it will. Celebrating and cherishing the silent thankfulness of having one another in life.

However, it should not be a one day affair. A celebration not to post on the social networking, a celebration not because it is called Valentime's Day. Staying by and being there round the time is more of a celebration to thank one another on this day. That's when a celebration counts in.

Not everyone goes by retail hopping and online digging to show that one cares, at times it is about a comfortable time of lunch together or stopping by to blanket the disturbing pains. It could be thinking beyond ones own needs and comforts and offering to listen out the other one. It's about simply saying thank you for being there right then. It is about knowing that something has to be set right before it is too late. Knowing that there is a human heart which waits for an assurance that it is not too late yet.

Bug the Litterbugs !!

We Indians are an amazing group of people. We hate to be told what is correct and what is not, we do not appreciate directions, we do not definitely like to follow the good but take to the worse. In our school of mind we preach the vastness and diversity of this country and lazy that we are, we blame circumstances as the reason of the challenges that are not achievable.

We are highly and easily influenced people. Transformable, but only when we are under strict supervision. When in a country away from India, we make sure not to litter. The Soft drink cans go right into the bin and does not fall just outside the bin. Cigarette buds go into the ashtray of the car and not fly out of the car window; litters go into the litter bags and reach regularly to the safe abode of the litter collector and not the corner of the street by the lamp-post. That is us. These actions follow because we see people not littering, we see people following rules and we know that everyone is being watched by law and order.

Back home, we do the same things, follow the people around us. Since the heap of garbage lies at the corner street, I go there during the wee hours to add a little more to the heap. Who would notice (I am not being watched). The cigarette bud goes flying out of the car window, again everyone does that, I am just following, who would notice. The stinky wall by the pavement is the sign of men urinating on the wall, how another round would make a difference, we add to that. That is us……. Indians, very us.

Again, we keep our houses clean, the domestic help makes sure to broom and sweep without fail everyday. Cleanliness is next to Godliness as we know and follow. All the garbage from the last day lands outside the main gate of the house. Our house remains clean. Similarly, we do not litter the city we live in. The wrappers and tetra-packs, the cans and the food left overs go into a bin or a poly/paper bag in general. However, when we are tourists, be become decorative and more carefree and start littering as we do not belong there.

This is extremely sad. No one can correct us if we do not do it ourselves. We are required to be under the surveillance of our own conscience. We would have to make the effort to treat this country like to take the effort to clean our houses. We would have to take a step to stop the fellow litterbugs.

Litterbug should not be the ones who litters around, litterbugs should be the people who bug the ones who litter around. How about picking up the wrapper from the street and putting it in the pocket of the one who threw it on the street. Or, picking up the banana peel and throwing it back into the car. May be this will make them realize where they are going wrong and they are being monitored, if they are not. Why not take this initiative to be the bugs for the ones who litter around???

Man Enough

At the juncture of this era where we find everything conveniently breaking apart, there are times in life we feed a hope on the Men-kind to be man enough to put one thing together for us. It is the hope of giving him the place where I force myself to believe in him in spite of all odds. He is the superior, awarded by the society, not because he proves to be one but because he is born to be a man. Is it so? Is it just being born with an intromittent organ that lets a man take one step forward in the society?

He is predictable, he is all of himself most of the time, he is all about his whims and fancies the other times but is he man enough to prove to her that all men are not the same. I know men who are predictable, all of themselves most of the time, all about the whims and fancies the other times yet they are man enough to stand by if not always stand up. Courage is always required to fight a war. But this is no war…this is existence, compassion and to abide with the faith your woman offers her all to you with. It is being simply man enough.

Relationships are ignorant. While one makes it a habit to forget and forgive, the other lives in whim of being the superior and hence not a subject of complaint. If a man does not own up the responsibilities, there is no point in chasing him to bring about a realization. This is where I come to conclude when I look into the situation of one of my closest person. A day in her life goes to prepare herself to be up to the mark to fit his fancies, the other day goes engrossed in his thoughts and yet another day goes to make things ready to perfection and wait for his homecoming for a small span of time. Oh!! That is all he has to offer her from his long stretched vacations allocated completely for the rest of the people associated with him. That is all she gets.

Is it a man thing to be ignorant of the values he gets from his surrounding? Well no, not always because there are women who are blessed with a man so consumed in her, so complete with her and so cherished by her. Or is it the woman who lures a man to be the way he is. Men are soluble elements and that is why they are passed on from a mother to a partner to a wife and to a daughter. Is it his nature to adapt that often leaves him unaware and untouched about the episodes that is building and breaking the woman he is with. He is the one who is broken by one woman and passed on to the other to mend and mold. Who made him the superior? It is definitely the woman who hisses on his capabilities to destroy him with all her coy and again gives him the love, care and respect to build himself as the wall of the fort.

Relationship is indeed truly ignorant….. a puzzle that we view through the colorful kaleidoscope.

Book Review: Rapescar by Gaurav Sharma

Book: RAPESCARS...They never heal
Author: Gaurav Sharma
Publisher: PETALS PUBLISHERS & DISTRIBUTORS
Genre: Fiction
Ratings: 4.5/5
ISBN: 9788192982748
Number of Pages: 150
Review Date: 3rd February 2015
Review on behalf of - The Readers Cosmos

My Ratings: 4/5

Plot – 5/5

Characters – 5/5

Style – 4/5

Climax – 4/5

Cover Page – 4/5

My Review: "Rapescar" is a different stroke by Gaurav Sharma. It is encouraging if society learns a lesson from the plot. We often get carried away by how often we get to hear about Rape. At times we protest, we write, we participate for causes, at times we criticize the system and get traumatised by the way our society is restructuring into new insecurities.

Gaurav has written this book beyond every classified and stereotypical thoughts. Hence I had mentioned that this book could be a lesson to fight back.

A Rape happens generally the way the victim gets into the vicious cycle. 

The story takes off only after the incident.

The girl does not shy out, the family does not break down, a lawyer pillars the required strength and the victim punishes the culprit to invoke a realisation of the mistake and repent for it.

Isn't this an ideal social framework? If this is our learning, if this is what the society encourages us to do, the numbers would o down, the panic of living a victimised life would go away and the courage to fight for oneself will arise.

The writing is crisp, detailed yet not vandalised. The plot is extremely different, practical and not imaginative. Often in the courtroom acts of our society, sexual norms are more broadly differentiated where the victim gets victimised publicly and the culprit gets to stand there and have the virtual repetition of his elated act.The forum performance in the courtroom, the details of medical steps and the brutal face of law has been beautifully described.

There has been flaws in the editing with regards to the dates and grammar here and there, however, the intense of the story will keep the audience concentrated to what is going to happen next.

On a whole, this is a good read, a lesson to Change our mind about what we frame the episode of Rape to be. 

This Book review is a part of The Readers Cosmos Book Review Program and 
Blog Tours. For details log on to thereaderscosmos.blogspot.com"

Miles of Smiles - with Lufthansa !!

We are Indians belonging to a country where everything has always got bigger and better. Starting from the population to patents, from mobile phone users to the number of cars, from Silicon Capitalization to skyscrapers, we have grown bigger always. Our meals are big, our holidays are expensive and our weddings are the big fat Indian weddings. Our festivals are big, we have big heart filled with overwhelming happiness and acceptance for every religion and region. We follow the trait of “Atithi Deva Bhavo” in a big way.

When we travel, it again has to be big and luxurious. We offer the best of feel at home for everyone and expect the same to come to us. That’s why we are not a 3^rd world anyone but flying the first nation. We have a bigger audience for everything we do. We look for the best in everything. We continue to be the biggest source of travelers to US, UK, Germany and a lot many places across the globe be in for recreation or business. With this diversity, airlines have taken their best foot forward by providing culinary diversity for us. Lufthansa is one of them. A complete at home feel with them comes when we take off for our journey. We are comfortable, composed and happy with the Lufthansa India website, experience. The bigger flight does not cramp travelers to be scared of the long hours. The menu is embroidered beautifully with choices that we can associate with closely. While the unknowns lie ahead by hours, the stomach is still happy to be at home with the delicious aroma of the food being served.

And as Rabindranath Tagore had written:

I travelled the old road every day, I took my fruits to the market,

my cattle to the meadows, I ferried my boat across the stream

And all the ways were well known to me!!

Post by Lufthansa India.

That is how the known path and the known being make all of us feel. The path which is unknown and unpredicted become easy when adorned by things we relate to. The comfort and the way in which our senses relate to the surrounding helps us relax, tweet our activities with our selfies on #LufthansaA380 and enjoy the time.

Lufthansa has done the same thing. They have offered us the space to spread our thoughts, the comfort to relate to the environment, the food to feel at home and grounded and the beautiful in-flight entertainment to relax and enjoy the flight which they look after our safety and fly to the illustrious, beautiful and historical Germany.

To add on, the airfares are indulging to go for the experience, for the best of our times and fondest of our memories. That is one and most important reason that we look forward to miles of smiles with Lufthansa.

The Speaking Tree !!

                                                                                                                    Dated: 19th November 2014

How I wish, there would be speaking trees in the backyard.

I would go to them every now and then to vent out all I have inside my mind, all that I have been protecting for so long and taking care of forever. It is difficult to be a good listener, more difficult to be able to take it all. While all the ones think that they could possibly bring their baggage’s to rest by me, they also realize how I have able to practice the fact of excusing all that I am devoured from.

I have a friend who comes to rest her baggage every now and then. I listen to her like a fairytale gone bad. She tells me as if she has been talking to the speaking tree. She finds hers here while I keep looking for mine. Another one comes to me when she needs to. Sometimes, those needs are from mind to material. From advices to adversities. From a pair of shoes to a pair ears. And then comes the time when they are not to be seen anywhere. They are not to be heard of as well. I know in my heart that they are happy and they are in good hands of happy times. I remain happy for them till they come across looking for again.

When I look around for a pair of ears, for a pair of hand to hold my when I am falling apart, I come to realize that they have forgotten what I have done for them, I have forgotten what they have done to me in return to make me stop going to them to find my speaking tree. With time all that I did not forget is how they have made me feel.

And now when I look back, I see that I only remember the pain and the sweetness is all gone. I only see their hunger and the fondness is all gone. I had waited for these friend to come back when I too need them around. I am waited for them to share my sadness and joy like I have done for them. This waiting, with passing of time has become a painful deed. I have not forgotten what they have because forgetting is also a painful thing to do. More painful is to know which one of the two I should do.

Pain is inevitable and to not be able to share it, to bear it all by myself is the feeling that makes me realize that love is so short. So here I am still looking for my speaking tree to whom I can talk about those bruises that hurt me the most and tear me apart wile I hide them from everyone and guard them to safety.

How I wish, there would be a speaking trees in the backyard. 

Distance....

There is a place in my heart that travels far away for a smile that lights up the hidden strength in me. It is fearful but it is bold and among all the lonely hours I spend without you, I am fearless to hold your hand for the minutes I am with you.

That joy in your eyes means a lot while I read all the helplessness behind and all the burden on your shoulder where every night you never forget to let me rest my head and count the passing minutes sliding by our hands.

So..I hold your hand when I fall asleep so that I would be strong enough to stop the time from moving so fast between you and me.

That tree in the backyard which we look at everyday stands alone like you and me. It knows the secret of those cold winter nights, it understands that there is something that is meant to be and there are no words to decorate it more beautifully than to let them remain untold.

When I am in today and you are in a yesterday, that tree in the backyard will remain the witness of how braver we are than we believe to be and how stronger we are than it seems to be.

When you are alone sitting there don’t think of the time you could have been in and the time that is not. Look at the spaces between your finger, the gaps there….is me holding on to them always with you. That’s my place; there is no you alone anytime, there is always you and me together.

From The Balcony of My Hotel in Palo Alto, CA.

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