Are Diversity Drives in India enabling thoughts Beyond Kitchen Cabinets ??

I read an article from TOI Ascent, dated 28^th August 2013 by BIOCON leader Kiran Mazumdar Shaw describing diversity initiative having a sumptuous number of lady employees in the workforce but not many to compete the ladder of climbing upwards professionally.
This has an insight from my journey in this industry for 9 years now. Most women in India fight a battle to live and let live. Be it their work, colleagues, friends, family or extended family, they are driven by the give and receive structure of the position they hold in life. A happy-nappy mood will be swayed into workplace without a second thought and vice-versa in most of the days. A stack of general baggage will be carried from home to work. Most of them maintain a workplace to prove themselves worthy to the society and to the household. Most of the professional growth is for position and power, rather than learning and development. Most of the certification is for the decoration of the business cards rather than enhancement of skill. That is why, less women take the table, lean in, chase their dreams, enhance their skills. More women at workplace sit back, take the corners, find faults and chase others dreams to convert their lives into nightmares.

I have, in the last long league, worked with a number of women colleague some I have reported into directly. I have come the gracious ladies who have been great goal setters with a balanced cliche of personal and professional life while some particular ones who had been the agony aunts showering their battered life over employees and colleagues around the workplace. And the happy-nappy baggage turns into a burnt curry in no time. The highly affected and the unmotivated ones from these workplace hazards are their colleagues.

I hope Sheryl Sandberg took a special vision over this topic and her Indian Workforce Team. While IT giants get aggressive over diversity, they forget to set the standards inside the organization. The diversity leadership team has those few erode inside the system that sets bad example for others. While I had the opportunity be to working with a few very enthusiastic, encouraging and high spirited lady counterparts, I have also had my share of dealing with extremely over obsessed and parasitic element that washes her dirtiest backyard laundry in her workplace and create extreme negativity among the teams.

Women in India need to be liberated and happy from within. A great personal life and a fertile career with a lot of enthusiasm should be a definite lookout that the diversity team should check upon before signing an employment bond with those who are expected to lead the masses and be the showstoppers.

Today, social media plays a major role in our daily life. We often conclude, if not to the fullest but a part of a lot of things over a person’s facebook timelines, twitter handles and LinkedIn recommendations. We should accept the same and go ahead when gathering a good research work before creating the leadership team. For a person who does not have an active social and professional circuit, industry should not recommend a leadership role to her. Interaction and communication is the key factor of any human being to be a leader. To facilitate team spirit and growth for the people contributing to a leader’s growth is the way to perfect leadership. A leader must have a social gesture.“Be the change you want to see in others”, is a famous saying that we quote today for our socio-political structure. Most women in India cannot vow for that. They cannot take the table, they cannot lead a group, and they cannot raise their hands to ask questions in an official or unofficial forum. Their orientation of being a bold and being an extrovert has such an unruly definition of being the bad one, that they often take to being coy and destructive in a silent manner. 

We have reached the 21^st century but our subject ladies in line are still everlastingly tied between being the good and the bad. Being western is bad, culturally. But being oriental is not in, socially. Being the one voicing out matters at home is bad in mannerism, but again being the one voicing out matters at work requires a good knowledge and responsible contribution. Indian women are confused and are constant in opposition with the voices in their head. Being a culturally driven but globally cultivated country, the industry we work for offers us enough exposure to evolve into a global citizen and accept the changes and the new dimensions that our previous generations have never even dreamt about. Indian men have accepted this change. They have a clear margin drawn to stop their inner battle. They have evolved with time and technology, it is a man thing. They accepted the change, they learned the technologies, they have evolved to lead and they have comfortably synced to move on. They do it for the situation and with the situation. 

Our subject womenkind, a very few in numbers, have happily raised a toast with their man-power around, well wished them and taken the changes by their stride. The remaining other “mother figures” of our global teams have curled up into their shells and worked on to change the workstations and cubicles into their kitchen cabinets in order to continue their existance. They are the ones who lead from behind. They never take the table, they sit in the corner and observe. Complicated contemplation of simple and even ignorable issues is their prime discussions. They never come up with a strategy or a presentation to address their team. They do not learn the core values and survive their years over carpet comments. They have an eye to target a crowd who are better than them to be dishonored and the ones in the introvert circle to domesticate them. They have their survival strategy as designed over their kitchen tricks.

In their kitchen, our subject woman type maintains a wide range of recipe for each and every employee stored in a cookbook. She prepares to garnish them accordingly with her secret recipe. However, since her knowledge is truly outlined by narrow domestic walls, she fails dramatically in the presentation of her dishes and finally broods and cries over them. One failure is linked to another. Once a discouragement crops up, she successfully turn the table to one of her targets while she cherishes her responsibility at work as a success to the answer for her failure elsewhere. The battle, the question and the answer and the requirement to prove her existence is again a fight within. 

Leadership cannot be learned and forced out of an individual. It is a skill that can be cultivated out of being a good leader. A good team would help a leader to bloom. This, my dear lady is something you should learn and engrave on your boasting career graph. Create your skills and set an example to groom yourself into a service leader and not a domestic sideline. Women at our workplace need to have a mind more liberated like the men.

I would only conclude by the famous saying, “You cannot open a book without learning something. – Confucius”

Exodus of Preying Eyes

Jacob Hills on Amazon – Exodus of Preying Eyes:

Ridhima and Gaurav were looking across the hall at each other, over escaping glance.

While Ridhima knew that she had gone ahead and clicked through Gaurav’s facebook profile when she hanged around in her then boyfriend’s apartment in North View Apartments, Bangalore, Gaurav just felt that the lady across the hall pinning him with the stares.

Ridhima and Aakash have known each other for a good 4 years now. Theirs have been an easy relationship. Both belonged to affluent family known to each other for decades now. Though they did not practically grow up together, they crossed each other’s path quiet often in their father’s office parties and transfer locations. They had been together as children for a year when their father got transferred to Kasauli and later on briefly in Ranikhet. Ridhima and Aakash had met in in their university days through common friends and landed up into a steamy affair which finalized into a marriage through parents intervention. Today they are one of the celebrated happy couples, very made for each other. The calm Ridhima and the impatient Aakash. Today they celebrate Aakash’s parent’s 45^th anniversary where, if not all, most of the old connections came together.

After that day, Ridhima, for the first time took the courage to walk into Gaurav’s profile and send him a request to be friends. Immediate acceptance and then through a little bit of back tracking, Gaurav found that Aakash’s wife is a once class mate of his.

“Hi”, he said and waited. “Thanks for the accept” came the reply. A few conventional question and answer here and there till the conversations ended for the day. Before realizing, they planned to meet up over a coffee. Ridhima somehow, did not confide to Aakash. She did her part of the first lie.

Mouthful of sky is what one lie can bring with her. The numbers of her time to meet Gaurav increased with the number of time she lied to Aakash. Aakash had always loved Ridhima as he would to no one else. This love for her, gave a in a wonderful trust that he shared with her. The rather homely Ridhima changing into an outside person did not move Aakash at all. He was happy because his lady was happy after all. His busy work schedule and finally coming back home to snuggle into Ridhima’s arms were the most luxurious and dreamy attempt that Aakash would indulge into. He failed to notice Ridhima awake almost throughout the night to day break thinking about Gaurav while having Aakash sleep in peace in her arms.

A day in a coffee shop was followed by a drive to no where. Another day Gaurav arrived to take her for a celebrated evening out for street food. It was followed by a quick hi while passing the locality of Aakash and Ridhima’s house. Gaurav had all the different excuses to meet Ridhima. She waited for him. She waited for the different ideas that he came up with to spend time with her, unlike Aakash’s splash and swanky dinner places in every ritualistic weekend. In the coffee shop, Gaurav held her hand longer than required while they battled inside the Bill flip, to decide on who would pay. In the street food, he pulled her closer while crossing the road. On her way back from the departmental store round the 5^th corner from her house, Gaurav drove her past her apartment complex for an hour into the highway, till they found a tea stall. In flip-flops and san makeup, Ridh avoided her uncomfortable glance from the denim clad Gaurav; he told her she is beautiful anyways and they laughed.

They other day, when the bell rang in a hot summer afternoon, she opened the door and found Gaurav standing with a grass flower in his hand. He had plucked it from the car park. Just to say “Hi”, is all he said and left. It was Ridhima who made the first move to hold his hand and not just the flower. She had felt his pulse in his palm. When she stopped him and moved closer, she felt his pulse below his throat and then on his chest. Battling his instinct was difficult for Gaurav. He had thought once, before ringing the bell, to walk back. Something pushed him to see her. Rather, it was she who reminded him so much of his past with Shreya. Now with all that have happened, he hated her so much that the hatred for her and her striking similarity with Ridhima attracted him. Like her, Ridhima has this playful instinct over unknown men. She eyes playfully wonders among men sitting in another corner of the coffee shop when she is with Gaurav, just like the first day their sight had met in the party when she was with Aakash. Gaurav hates her for this and yet he adorns her. The day she had no one to sign at across the room, Gaurav was happy. She had all his attention, he told himself and felt jealous looking around the swanky and luxurious living that Aakash comes back to in Ridhima’s arm while she playfully looks across to other men. Today, he had all her attention. They shivered and swirled with each other and Gaurav had her looking into his eyes all throughout. He hated her more and more and washed out Shreya through Ridhima. Hours had passed when finally Aakash pulled in the car park behind Gaurav’s car. Not very surprised, he walked in to the lobby, rang the bell.

Ridhima opened the door and they had guest, saying hi while he was passing by from this side of the city. While the three sat together and sipped their tea, Ridh knew that this is the end of Gaurav and her. Some relationships do not have defined outlines. They are just there special and preserved. They are meant to be in their own way. Something to think about and smile, but never to repeat – Ridhima thought at the end of the day when she remained sleepless, stared at the ceiling with Aakash snuggled up in her arms.

Review - Left from Dhakeshwari By Kunal Sen

The author – Kunal Sen started an ideal genre of writer that India should muse on currently. After a long time, I read an Indian author who comprehended in non colloquial Indian English. The entire format initiates as scattered around in small parts and finally comes together only through the rich imagination of the reader. Being one of the initial reproduces of the author, I am highly expecting a more playful language.

The book - One of the best cover pages I have come across. The color of the page is dark with the most difficult art form to display. The content has 9 stories in it; all has a different form of human emotions. They are diverse in their own ways yet similar in one. The best and the diverse part of all the stories is that it tell us about the psyche of people and situations that stop them from running behind their instinct and holding on to our social glitches. The connections of human emotions and the real world are definitely the objects that thrive around us. That has helped the author to create a Melodrama of the stories. There is no humor anywhere in the book and the minute details of the pain and anguish of a person is conveyed well. The detailing to link the protagonist of each of the story is done by a small but permanent association. The love affair of Salt Lake has been associated with a scar. More that anyone who views the scar, the one having a scar will see it through her mind, even though not through her eyes. In another, the protagonist finds the link of his lost mother finally through the small case hidden far away from his eyes but would run through his mind.

On the Whole - An amazing read. Not at all ambiguous or something you can give away easily. The ideas of the stories are authentic yet very thought provoking. Language is an outlander in its own way. This book offer relationship the justice of truth and pushes it to the harsh reality, away from the fairy tale.

To The Author - Wish you success all the way for offering modern Indian literature a new step. All the Best Kunal for your next coming write-up.

Burden of sexuality: rape, harassment and premarital sex in Child Marriage

#Breakthroughtv adopts an article from my voice on Early Marriage:

http://www.breakthrough.tv/earlymarriage/2013/09/burden-sexuality-marital-rape-abuse-harassment/

Child marriage has devastating consequences on the child, on the family and in a long run, on the society. It is a dangerous practice which people undertake in the name of religion and culture. Poverty and illiteracy is the prime reason that leads to such action. Poverty makes a parent pull out the daughter from the school and sense of lack of security for the uneducated male dominance; they are forced to marry away the child. The child girl becomes a child bride in no time.

They are denied the chance to gain skills and knowledge to help lift them and their family out of poverty. They are often married to much older men, which makes it hard for them to assert their wishes and leaves them particularly vulnerable to domestic violence. As soon as they reach puberty, its time for motherhood for them and the risk of death during child birth is very high for these mothers.

Right from the very young age, they are not provided the fundamental space to voice their opinion or address their wish or needs. This makes them the silent victim of various domestic, social, economical, physical and mental traumas for their entire life. Moreover, she is not supported by the other women in the family as it is told to her that such abuse was “normal” and a wife’s duty to bear it. Often, if the child is married to the poor family, they are sent to beg, to work in brick kilns and other small time daily wages. Here, they again undergo violence, molestation and rape which give way to sexually transmitted diseases and HIV.

In a way, it is another system of bonded labor, One does not take consent if the child wants to marry the man chosen for her, just because she is married, she is exposed to abuses, threats, controlled set of work and non-consensual sexual relations

Complications in pregnancy and childbirth are the leading cause of death in girls aged 15-19 in low- and middle-income countries. 90% of adolescent pregnancies in the developing world are to girls who are already married.

Child brides are also vulnerable to obstetric fistula, a preventable yet debilitating injury resulting from obstructed labor or prolonged childbirth.

Child brides often face pressure from their husband’s family, their own family and the wider community to have children soon after marriage. They become mothers at an early age, which makes them more likely to experience early and frequent pregnancies. 

It is very difficult to for child brides to assert their wishes with their often older husbands. It is hard for them to exercise their right to family planning and to choose when and whether to have children.

There are strong correlations between maternal mortality rates and child marriage prevalence rates. A 10 per cent reduction in child marriage could be associated with a 70 per cent reduction in a country’s maternal mortality rates.

On the whole, if a greater number of children are born from mothers between the age of 15 and 18 and 65% of these mothers die during childbirth, it is obvious that the new born will undergo a mal nutritious upbringing finally resulting in a severe disruption in the ecology and man woman ratio.

Special needs for this age group of 18-24 yrs to fight against Child Marriage

The primary and the most important need for this age group are to free them from slavery, sexual harassment and duties. Education, awareness, economic stability and voice to address their requirement is the need of this hour.

Family stability is another big requirement. In rural India, a drunkard father and a hard working mother who works to earn money and run the household is a ritual. For all we would know, the mother has been a child bride who had been forced into slavery from the very early age and she still continues to do so.

A society of hungry and intoxicated male is also another reason to encourage child marriage in rural India.  While the girls are married off to save them from harassment, rape and pre-marital sexual exposure, the boys are married off to be prevented from intoxication and surrender to pre-marital sex and rape. As the circle of this toxic system goes round and round, we boil down to the need of this moment to be more of socio-economic than anything.

Children are to be educated, so that they learn what is good and what is not. These educated children would address and voice out to the senior and uneducated surrounding society of theirs. They would learn to be more human being and less of domestic being. Education would encourage economic stability in the household and thereby employment would be created. More the employment, more number of men would go to work and share equal financial and social responsibility.

When daughters would be pushed into child marriage, they would talk to their parents about their needs. They will be able to educate their parents about their learning. When a community will gradually come in term with a safe, accessible, quality schooling which will eventually create opportunities for girls to be self sufficient, earn an income and be someone more than a domestic being in the household, it is hard for parents to imagine an impractical alternative of a child marriage

It has been found that over the past 20 years, rates of child marriage in south Asia have declined for girls of 14 and under, yet marriage rates for older girls remain static. To put an end to child marriage, we need to combine work at the local and community levels with efforts to improve broader structural factors, such as access to quality education and more stable economic condition in the family by creating employment and enabling the parents with do’s and don’t of the socio-economic structure. Finally, as the circle comes back to where we had started, the need for this age group is definitely education and knowledge.

Giving the Youth a Face: Fight against Child Marriage

#Breakthroughtv adopts an article from my voice on Early Marriage:

http://www.breakthrough.tv/earlymarriage/2013/09/early-marriage-giving-youth-face/

Youth today is the voice of this nation; they are the face of tomorrow. The exposure they have to the entire world and the kind of mindset they adorn makes then the bright future of India tomorrow. Youth today is strong, goal oriented and organized. They are ambitious yet creative. They have a voice and a face of representation. They have the capacity to see beauty and to keep things that way, never getting worn out. They are the thought leaders today; they are esteem of the growing country.

On the other hand, in this country, there is a huge number of teenagers who do not grow up be a part of this promising group. They are the ones who grow up in the mercy of their existence in the hand of society, caste, creed and superstition. They are one who do not learn to voice their needs, do not learn to lead the group, do not see their teenage days and finally do not get the luxury of being the youth.

While one set of girls go to school, learn to play, sing, dance, understand what they want and what they need, there is another set of them, who before having an understanding of anything are pushed from playing with play kitchen to the kitchens of real. They are wasted when they are young. These girls are held back to take part in Social, political and economic life of the country, in a long run, the country is held back.

Families that are stationed in the remote part of the country are often poor. Unable to provide the basic securities of life had often gave way to parents to encourage the system of child marriage. This has later on taken the face of a rule or a part of the religious enforcement. In this regards, they often receive money and in exchange give their daughters, a security for life. In the remote places, the barter system of women and money being high, early marriages often settle the deal with less amount of expense. In a broader way, economy and exposure being low, the society has a darkness spread over their head. In order to escape everything, the parents often think of saving the daughters from being exploited by the counterpart of the society and sign in their favor. What they fail to follow is that, their daughters are being signed to be exploited further.

In spite of all the work being done, till today, every 1 out of 3 girls are married before they reach an age of 18. Again, every one out of nine girls will be married before their 15th birthday. It has been surveyed that most of these girls are poor, less-educated, and living in rural areas. While most countries allow girls to marry before they turn 18 with parental or other consent, the prime reason for forced child marriage underlies in poverty.

Reaching puberty should mark the beginning of a gradual transition to a healthy and productive adulthood. Instead, for many girls, puberty marks an accelerating trajectory into inequality. Child marriage is a primary source. Once a girl child reaches her puberty, she is pushed into sex and child birth by the in-laws curtailing a critical period for growth, learning, identity formation and experimentation: each of which is essential if maturation into fully rounded human beings is to be unhindered. There are laws and rules and legislatures that talk about Child marriage being illegal and unacceptable. What there isn’t the education to read these laws and understand them or the mobilizing capability to reach out to the remotest part of the country to educate the mass and to empower them?

Child Marriage has been embedded into a social and cultural facade of this country from ages now. To bring about any change in the system, there has to be a cultural and generational shift. And today, we are looking up only to the youth of this nation to can carry the torch and keep it burning. It is the youth who can go there and set examples, which can guide them and lead them and finally show them a brighter and better tomorrow.

Creating a Happy Holiday

Idea of a Happy Holiday is about never finishing holidaying.

Every time we went holidaying, I always hoped that the days will never end; I always thought that the knowledge gained by visiting places and absorbing the climate, culture and surrounding is greater than what books and degrees could coach us into. I remember debating with my father on this topic to which he would create a more potent theory to enlighten me that in order to meet the expenses of such holidays, one should study, go back to school and college and then to work and keep coming back to holidays. All I got from these conversations was that, we are going in circles. But I knew, someday, I will holiday my life.

I grew up, finished the pursuit of my happiness and drew a completion to my degrees. I then got myself enrolled as a member of the overhyped IT crowd and indulged in little breaks every now and then. Till one day, after about 9 years of this grinding, I realized that I am again going in the circles of life. The job I was doing is definitely not my path to holiday my life and this is not what I am meant for. I decided to walk out of this industry that day with no prior plan, I took to live my life and take along with me all those people who matters. I start my travel plan alone, my only companion, my photography gear.

The beautiful country, India, is travelled extensively by people across the world. How many of us in India have seen the country? I will do.

My travel planner is http://www.yatra.com and my destination is Incredible India. I started my rigorous planning and preparation of the itinerary. I promised myself to travel as much as I can, to experience to the most and to find myself something that I would love to do when I am back. Monsoon is lashing the country from corner to corner and I know that this is the best time to head out. My plan is extensive and what I look out to do is to invite the special people in my life, who are scattered across the country and who I get to talk to only over one of the many social networking sites, to travel with me when I pass their lives.

My travel starts from the southern extreme of the country, from the God’s own Country, Kerala. My closest of all friends always wanted a Houseboat experience and since he is the one who encouraged me to break away from the routine and chase my dreams, I plan to start my trip with him. I would be leaving for Kerala on the 10^th of August 2013. Starting from Alleppey  to Kumarakom and the kovalam, kanyakumari and the finally to Varkala where I would be joined by my little brother. Post that, my plan is to be back to Bangalore, see Nrityagram and head towards western ghats. Enjoy Sakleshpur, Kukke Subramanya, Dudhsagar and then Goa. There I would meet my closest friend and leave for Castle rock and head towards the Guntakal- Guntur route. Here, I would visit the Cumbum Lake, the oldest Man Made lake in Asia and then leave for Araku Valley. My route will take my from Araku to Koraput, a place where scenic beauty can be seen from 800 mts above sea level. I would absorb everything that I pass through and then go through Chilka lake to reach Bhubaneswar. My student day’s memories stay with me till day and I would meet my dear people who are still there, My next destination is Konark temple and Puri. Here, I meet my parents and spend a handful time with them and leave for Bodhgaya. This journey would be followed by Prayag, gaya, Kasi, Varanasi, Allahabad and finally to Agra. The beautiful sunrise in Fatehpur Sikri, the sun set in Taj Mahal and then start for Dharamshala or towards Ajmer Sharif or Waga Border through the Golden Temple.

My tour will continue ahead of this as this is what I have planned so far. I would meet people, make new friends, spend time with all the people scattered around the country, who have made a mark in my life sometimes or the other. I would also go Manali and meet my favorite teacher who had told my parents to make a human being out of me and not a scorecard, a nanny in Manipur, who had kissed my forehead and put me to sleep when my mother went to work. A friend in Sanchi, who had left his being and gone back to take care of his ailing parents and a handful of friend in Punjab who has always been there for me.

This would be my perfect trip. I want to do a lot more than just taking with me, a handful of people and making them happy. There are more than a handful of close friends and family who has made me who I am today and I want to make all of them happy. The biggest happiness that I can give anyone is my time.

When I am Gone

(Found this among my small notes written on 9th June 2011, 23:55 pm)

You could shed the tears now that I'm gone,

You could smile because I have lived my life.

You can close your eyes and pray that I safely come back,

Or, You can open your eyes and look around for all that i've left behind.

Your empty heart could be yearning to see me,

or you could be lost in all the time we shared.

U could turn your back on tomorrow and dwell among yesterday,

or you could be happy for tomorrow for our moments of yesterday.

You can remember me only now that I am gone,

So, cherish the memory and let it breathe to live on.

Do not cry and close your mind, be saddened and turn your back.

Do what I'd always wanted you to: smile, open your eyes, look for love around and go on !!

Bizarre true facts from Digital fortress: Dan Brown Craze!!

Bizarre true facts from Digital fortress: Dan Brown Craze!!

In large cities, Americans are photographed on the average of 20 times a day.

Everything you charge is in a database that police, among others, can look at.

Supermarkets track what you purchase and sell the information to direct-mail marketing firms.

Your employer is allowed to read your E-Mail, and if you use your company's health insurance to purchase drugs, your employer has access to that information.

Government computers scan your E-Mail for subversive language.

Your cell phone calls can be intercepted, and your access numbers can be cribbed by eavesdroppers with police scanners.

You register your whereabouts every time you use an ATM, credit card, or use EZ PASS at a toll booth.

You are often being watched when you visit web sites. Servers know what you're looking at, what you download, and how long you stay on a page.

A political candidate found his career destroyed by a newspaper that published a list of all the videos he had ever rented.

Most "baby monitors" can be intercepted 100 feet outside the home.

Intelligence agencies now have "micro-bots" -- tiny, remote control, electronic "bugs" that literally can fly into your home and look around without your noticing.

Anyone with $100 can tap your phone.
a new technology called TEMPEST can intercept what you are typing on your keypad (from 100 feet away through a cement wall.)

the National Security Agency has a submarine that can intercept and decipher digital communications from the RF emissions of underwater phone cables.

The Teacher !!

It had been a very tiring episode for my mind to run back and visit the last 8 years of my short and vivid life. I met almost everyone there, missing out a few less impacted people whom I tend not to remember. At every turn I took, I failed to see myself today where I stand when viewed from then. What a dilemma I was in during those deciding years of my career and self? I laughed at myself........kiddish as I was !!! One thing surprised me a lot. All the people who seemed to be a significant someone for me does not exist today... in fact they don’t even make a difference to me today. So I decided to come back to where I am. I thought for a long time!!

Today I have a new set of acquaintance who promises to be with me for the rest of my breath. However, after visiting the last 8 years I do not believe them either. At these deciding edges, I had come across people counted in fingers who had been a pillar to my thoughts.

There was one instance where a man, a substitute teacher, inspired me. It was in an English class and we were all snickering at the fact that this man was a assigned educator for us. I still remember the day when he 1st entered the classroom. He cleared his voice and began to talk to us. Never before had I seen a whole class stopping and listening to a teacher, regular or substitute. He told us of life..... philosophy. His voice was so quiet and smooth that not a single student made the slightest move for the whole half hour he talked to us. He just said these things off the top of his head about writing what you care about. He was truly the most inspiring man I have ever known. Throughout the duration of my seemingly short life I have searched for the person who would open my eyes to the world. Someone who would challenge me, helping me to discover who I truly was. He told us the reason why he liked being a substitute was that he liked being able to throw away the plan for the day and inspire. Amazing!!! At the end of the class, he gave another eloquent speech about how he enjoyed teaching us. "Maybe we will get to see each other again. All we have to do is hope," he sang. He made me aspire to do something different and to follow my heart no matter what it says. Thinking that I might never get a chance to meet him again makes me sad. At the end of the class, we cheered. In my heart, I believe at least I had a hope that we shall meet again.

The most obvious position in which someone can be in to have an effect on other people is a teacher. And yet my calculus teacher is undoubtedly one of the most surprisingly and profoundly influential person I've ever met in my entire life. Not knowing an answer is not an excuse for not getting it right. Never in my life would I have imagined I was capable of the things I have undertaken in her class. For the first time I understand the plausibility of "you can do anything you put your mind to". My whole view on life has changed dramatically, and I now look forward to the challenges and successes I know my life will bring. I wake up every morning knowing nothing is impossible and I can be free to dream whatever I wish because it could very well become reality. Evoking inspiration is the true aspiration of passion-is truly what I believe today.

Today,...I know only one thing when i wake up in the morning. I know nothing !! There comes a young start.

Time Traveler

Don’t judge me in the mercy of your thought,

I had walked into your life to find love

Not to be a material conquered with passion.

In the midst of your disapproval, I have looked away with time

This time is crucial, as I look into the blank to find you

I think and rethink, how did it get so late, so soon

I turn around and see my time traveler where I had left it

Hugging our memories of fondness and approval, Nameless

I am looked upon as old fashioned since I wait for your approval

I wait for the first move from your senses.

I live in my past, with its outstretched hand to take me

I feel progress progresses too fast

Today I set you free, be who you want to be

There will be no time limit to return home and no rule to bind you

You can change yourself or be the same

You can make the best or the worst of it

You can live your pride and be a star, and if you fail

                     Be courageous to start all over again.

I will not be your time traveler.

I will not wait for you; it is hard to be the one waiting

Cherishing - Being You !!

The easiest thing that a breathing human being can do is to live and the easiest thing that he/she can accommodate is to let others live.

However, today this has become to most difficult fight for survival. To be our own self while every other person is trying hard to make and cut and modify us into someone else. This yet stands to be the biggest accomplishment.

Every second of the day, it is a moment to stand up and put a stop to those trying to make us be someone else.Every moment from then is looking up to a wonderful tomorrow. That is the life one needs to seize and make a statement in the heart.

There will be a day when someone would want to have a life of yours. There will be a time when someone would want to be you. Someone would come by to follow your footsteps and take your path.That day you would be the guide for that person, you would tell him that one day you had dared to be no one else but yourself. Thats why there is a today.

You bear the torch, be the one to be unique and not someone else.

The Sign Language !!

After pushing you far away and walking to the other end of my mind, I jumped into the ocean of uncertainty. I love the ocean, I visit it every vacation and read books with it, listen to music with it, roll on the sun, dive deep into it. But…I never go and stay by it. The ocean I know is unknown to me for so many reasons. Wherever I go, how far my running away takes me, I am fine since I know where I can get back. And that is to you. Good things never end, purity never vanishes. Dreams never vanish. I have you secured in those dreams which if lost, I would lose my mind. And with my mind, you will be gone. To keep everything in place I keep dreaming.

Your being present is a lot meaningful, religious and satisfying moment for me. Your letting me brew coffee or light a candle to share a silence speaks all my heart for the rest of my life. A sketch of my future you try to draw tells me every moment of the seconds we are there, that, where we belong.

I am sorry, I cannot speak so rationally, but I can put colors to the conversation. This is my hideous requirement to be something more than just a human being. Drive the language of signs and not of words. Signs will keep us connected, even when words do not flow between us.

And so, I will dream more dreams since it is worth doing. What is worth doing is definitely worth overdoing. Then, when you confront my corpse, the absolute absence of life will not disturb you at all. I will be right there touching you with my signs.

Vanishing Caravans...!!

Collated from the amazingly difficult work by Mittal Patel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=w8cZ2iJARPM

India is a country of cultural diversity and this is a land where one can find vast differential equation of humanity that has unresolved calculations. This diversified equation is no wonder the biggest challenge of the fastest growing nation in this universe.

While cities like Mumbai is ruled by a large group of strongly bonded community living in the famous slums, states like Gujarat has fallen back in keeping count of the Nomadic and Denotified tribes and failed to give them an identity in this country.

As the name tells us, Nomadic are the people who travel from place to place and hence to give them an identity or keeping a count is a practical challenge for the system. They livelihood is generally in the outskirts of the villages and that is more definitely because they are not accepted by the communities. On the whole the Nomadic and Denotified tribes lack their identity for which survival is a challenge for them. As the system of dependency on identity goes in circle, they have been pushed into the darkest corner of our society.

Their professions are more like salt traders, jugglers, junk jewelers, basket sellers, tattooists, snake charmers, ayurvedic healers, fortune tellers and entertainers partnering animal. Like a lot of other things, these professions are also loosing their value with the gadget gizmos taking over. Again with the Animal rights being made strict, the nomadic have lost their major mean of earning.

This is extremely sad, but on contrary, some of us have done unforeseen harm to the animals which have given way to make the regulations strict. Human beings are the craziest animals on earth. They are the ones who have been able to survive as the fittest and during this war for survival; a lot of other species have become extinct. Hence the introductions of the law, with the promise to provide animals an equal opportunity to survive on earth like the human beings.

On Chennai or Mumbai or Kovalam beech, when I enjoy the cool breeze and walk through the sand, I often see these nomadic go around with ponies/horses with a rider. The pony is his mean of earning, lanky, weak, unbathed, unfed and yet drudging along bringing earnings to its master's household. Does the master feed it well and take good care of it? We all know the answer. We all see women with snakes in the basket begging for alms at the traffic signals. I often wonder what they feed the snake. Are they fed in days together?

It is always that one handful of people in the society who do things to attract problems for the entire big numbers. It is that one group of people who engage in robbery, burglary, killing and domesticating species to make them their way of living and the effect is on a lot bigger numbers. It is unfortunate of nomads that they have lost their prime way to earning due to government rule, but begging is not the only way to survive after that. As Indians, more number of organizations like VSSM should join hand to give them an identity, to set up school for them, to teach the fathers and brothers that they are the protectors of the woman in the family and not the destroyers. To tell them about preservation of the wildlife and how equally important they are like us humans.

These organizations should approach the government and the tourism department to facilitate these nomads to earn their living portraying their art and culture as a part of the rich heritage of our country. The nomadic system is an important part of our lives and the carrier of our history. We should think of ways to enable to earn their living, have voter right, be a part of the society, have their children get adequate education and their daughter have families. They should be proud of their identity in the society and continue to be the same by generations together. If they are looked upon as they are done today, they would soon die out. The privileged groups will want to use the facility of education to become social people and the ones who could not reach out to be among the privileged ones, will soon die out begging and robbing and finally getting killed. Hence, our motto should be to preserve the nomadic culture and provide them with the social upliftment as what they are. That is where we come in, the well read cluster of the society. Nomads need an identity in the society. They bear with them a strong cultural heritage and Indian history. We should preserve then, promote their art, and promote the folk dance drama of Bhavai and Targalas. We should assist them to create an identity in the society as nomadic tribes of India and earn through their heritage. Educate them with their history and make them proud to be what they are. We should preserve the culture of having a healthy family among them so that they too do not become extinct like the minor animal to could not keep up to the fight for survival.

Change ~ that needs to happen within !!

A century of the woman this is. While a group of woman are leaning in and making history to create a mark in this world, another group is being brutally put aside by the society while they simply try to exist. When later, we will want to look back; the history will show us that the anonymous was always a woman. They are compelled with enormous demands in this society. They are dragged up to the corner expecting to be more courageous and tougher. Her naive innocent self is no more given way with. She in return, wishes to be happy than dignified. Sometimes, she would escape to be just a fool. Her being an innocent fool gives her more breathers in life than being a Heroine. This way, she is at least not a victim.

The domination in this society has been given away by a woman to the others. Sometimes, it is the man and other times, it is another woman who is breaking a woman into pieces. A woman has to voice out her opinion and show her strength. Be it a man or a woman, it is important for him/her to give a second thought before he plans destruction. A woman has to live her life the way she wants to or live and repent about a life that she could have lived. So be it, if it is in her own terms, on high heels.

A woman has to care for other women and be compassionate about their own sexes. She should differentiate and build a fine lady instead of letting her living like a rational creature. Once she comes out of that comfortable and secure place to deal with the world, she will be stronger than ever and safer than all.

Our society will only assist her to be what she wants to be, but first, she has to be what she wants to be. She has to take that 1^st step to be the two things that complete her. She will be who she wants to be and what she wants for her.

Journey of my 1st Pink Diary.....till #CloudBlogathon

Inhibitions are a characteristics that a lot of us kneed like a small plant in our garden.
A kind of mindset that a lot of us build, brick by brick, including me. Blogging had been my passion from so early in life, that I don't exactly remember when I started, I had spent a lot of my growing up years writing letters to myself from a very early age. These letters contained my dreams, aspirations, love, hatred and frustrations.
I remember being caught by my mother with small paper cut scribbled that described a moment that had passed my mind. At times, it sounded like small notes that a girl would pass on to someone, sometimes they were addressed to anonymous, most of the time they were descriptions of how my heart feels about an occurrence. My parents were always worried about my lack of too many friends, since I grew up in remote places of the country with not a lot of children around. Nature was my friend.

I often spoke to pebbles that are stuck by the flowing stream and addressed them as luckier than me, since they get to be there all the time. It was then I got my 1st pink diary. My scribbles continued and gradually got lengthy and descriptive. I did not realize when it became a part of my daily paraphernalia. And buying notebooks and diaries another hobby. I always believed that writing is a personal venting place.

Situations that do not allow to speak out or address is easily given a shape by being written down. Places we visit do not complete the frame with the photographs we bring back and the memories we  preserve, writing them plays a role as well. An experience with people we meet, places we see, food we taste, party we crash, friends we make, relationships we keep up to and love to gain or loose- everything can be addressed, preserved and turned into a memoir through writing.

The notebook took its toll and changed in an online diary which later transformed into a blog page. But my inhibition of maintaining the personal tagline to it never changed. With online blogging, I generally became comfortable with sharing my blogs to unknown faces behind other blogs, I read theirs and shared mine. Few more time passed when I finally went ahead to share my blogs to all platforms and all the known and the unknown faces of the blogadom at #CloudBlogathon.

Till today when, with Indiblogger, I met about 200 odd fellow bloggers face to face. This has been the 1st blogger meet for me. I was ecstatic, overjoyed and  nostalgic since this has been a very long journey. This was an unplanned one, never did I think in my wildest fantasy that there would be a day when the scribbles and small notes would take a turn to meet a 200 odd people who had also had a similar journey like mine. This had been a pleasant turn and someday....yes, someday I would look back to this day as a stepping stone to listen to ripples of the water where the pebbles happily lie.

Live ~ While it is not too late !!

The number of breaths that we take between the time we live is called life. While we live, the things that let us live and not just exist or co-exist are the moments which take us to where we want to go. These moments allow us to be the one we desire to be and grant us an identity.

Everyone has an unusual life, everyone want to live theirs differently. Again, there are the ones among us who gaze away to live like someone else. While they transform into a different person, they lose the ones who were associated with their real self. We leave everything behind to wrap the world in our embrace and we loose something more precious, our soul self.

There is incredible existence deep inside two people that has no name; it is not love, hatred, feeling, sex or companionship. It is nameless, but soulful. It is the acts of common instinct, something denoted by wavelengths. It might not be an act to battle together or accomplish a bond, but it is doing things similar, together or separate, the proceeding remaining the same. It is like ecstasy, where every individual dwell in different thoughts through the same medium.

So, the psyche had built a plan to live this life, to set free the dreams, to climb the mountains, swim the oceans, watch the sunset, read the books and enjoy the music under the deserted tree, on the whole to listen to the heart. And now, one part of the soul looked further away into another, away from its own. It now wants to take the jet plane and circle the world, climb the ladder and reach the top.

Nothing will wait for one’s convenience to reunite. No one fails to know that loneliness is not the way of living. While you is busy with everyone talking around you to climbs the ladder to reach the high, to compete and to win the battle, you will fails to listen to the truth of your heart. If there is no silence, the unnamed space inside you will not speak a word. When surrounded by so many ambitions one does not find the unnamed space to preserve the memories to look back to? Memories are not preserved in the heart or in the head. They are preserved in the beautifully decorated frame of space in the wrapped world people create.

Soulful ??? Then Live ~ While it is not too late !!

Chemical Happiness !!

As we grow up, we start growing older.We start taking more time thinking of doing something which we would do without a single 2nd thought when young . We come across situations that slow us down. Some episodes pass our lives like a wind, some come into our lives and quickly leave. Some episodes make sure to stay for a while and leave footprints on our life forever. All these things change us with the passing time.

We gradually get to learn that the one person who we believed would not let us down, probably will do so and leave us heartbroken.  Every single time it will break harder than before. As the clock ticks its time, happiness returns and you realise that it had never left you at all. It was forgotten unnoticed in one corner, waiting to be picked back by you. Happiness, after all, is the hidden wildness in you, too wild to be tamed by anyone and more wild for someone to snatch it from you and run away.

Happiness is the identity of a person. Your reaction, behaviour, madness and love is catalysed by your happiness. It brings out the best in you and helps you blend with the person with the same amount of chemical imbalance that you have. That- is your soulmate.Cherish the moment of having one since everyone does not get lucky enough to have someone that makes saying goodbye a very difficult task.

Communism Curbed !!

"The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles." This was the Communism that Karl Marx had given to the people of this world. Following these golden words, we had come across a handful of political economist, sociologist, theorist and finally came the communists.His ideology was later on called Marxism.
His Ideology was followed in Russia by Vladimir Lenin.

Communism came to India during the later years of the 2nd world war.Later on during the Indo-China war in 1962, the party showed conflicts as socialist and capitalists.It hence split and went on to govern the states of Bengal, Kerala and part of Andhra Pradesh. Today's communism would have shamed Karl Marx. Today communism does not let common man have a peaceful life, have their choices, have their views considered. Todays communis is Vandalism to the horizontal extent.

Thou Mayest....or Thou Mayest Not !!

We are a part of the strangest society on the face of mankind. Free without freedom.

When we are children, the dreams that paint our walls are picture of freedom. The path of life is so set in a way to bind us with the clamored dependencies to buy those freedoms.

I laugh when I look back.  As we grow up, we are tied up with the weight of so many things, so many feelings, so much of duties and so much of liabilities, that eventually we end of fighting towards an unachievable wish to be set free. If we have nothing, we practically have everything. To set ourselves free from the boundaries of the rules around us is a very difficult task. To be morally responsible for everything we do is a burden again. 

At times we are not free because we do not want to be free. We do not want to break out from tolerating what is intolerable. We find it challenging to change anything that is institutional. Hence, freedom for us is being chained in our feet with a trail which is hooked at the other end with our moral.

A Note to the Women of Today !!

A Day for the Women of today….. We wash the vessels, drive the cars and debate the workforce. This life is full of challenges and complexities. While men feel what is the big deal to wash vessels , I guess the deal is in washing the vessel, cleaning your hand, dressing them up and working on your laptop at work, while your fellow men colleagues silently admire our manicured fingers. Now that is a deal.

From changing the nappy to altering the project plan, women do it all. They raise those stunning men who make the difference on earth. We, women, live our life with fulfillment. We are tough, we are ambitious and we know exactly what we want and that defines us. We are the strong one. Every Man we meet wants to protect us. But from what?? A Woman need not be protected. She needs to be loved, appreciated and respected. They are everywhere, they know everything and they can do everything. They only thing that women need to learn is about power. No one gives you the power, you have to take it. A women is giving, she feels the urge to do things for others, small things that would make a difference. She expects the same thing back though untold and in silence. She wants to be treated as special. She wants to be ambushed with attention from the Man of her life. She wants to be the best one out there. This is the kind of women everyone loves and every man wants to take home.

What about the others? The women who have a mind of their own? Are they not the likable ones? Men love their mothers, but they don’t love the woman their mother chooses for them. They want otherwise, though they don’t own up. It is the same with women, they love their mothers too but these women want to be not like the mothers but the fathers. That’s the truth we fail to face. The entire emotional thing is like noodles in our head. It is complicated. It is an end of the era of good girls in prom nights. Happiness and womanhood is about living the day, not worrying about future. So take it easy, revealing too much too soon will not get you long. To the max, the man you adore may kneel down on the street and offer you a ring, but when the woman walks the aisle, she will think a second thought of “for how long?” The vow forever and ever starts a scary dip.

Commitment for women is a slippery slope. While all the changes happen to her, the Man freaks out. A woman always has a secret dream where she walks out of her father’s house in tears and dreams to be greeted by her Man’s family. That changes everything. That makes a difference when she is ready to miss her girl time, college get together and even her shopping sprees. The one who is a fashion road kill is ready to get unnoticed for the man she loves as long as she has all the attention of her man. That is the change in her. Appreciate this woman, don’t criticize her. If she can nail a man, she can beautify her drawing room as well. She can buy flowers for herself and kiss good night to the beautiful one in the mirror, but she wants he man to do it for her. She is the special one in his life, she is the one for him and she wants him to make her feel special.

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY to the untamed ones, be proud of your Man just because he lets you be the one you are. You are Special, you are celebrated and you Rock!!

Choices We Regret !!

The craziest thing to do in life is to get going with a person by his words. Truth half taken and lies half gulped, life is such a whirlpool. It is more like fighting with yourself to believe what you think you know and to disbelieve what you think you saw or heard.

A person who has been careful in taking all the step so far, sometime land up in circumstances which is so compulsive that there is no place to repent, correct or go back.

What went wrong??  Well apparently nothing. Too many calculated steps had drifted the concentration on the counting of the steps rather than the factor to achieve. And here you are in the middle of somewhere unknown.

Negligence and indifference are the actions that do much damage than all the outright dislikes. This leads to all the changes. It becomes harder to hold on to than to let go. It hurts more to for blaming yourself for the wrong feeling you believed to be true. We end up being full of different flavors of the wrong in some complementary way or other, rather that being the sweet dimensions of our life that keep adding to those beautiful things that got us till here. This brings the breakpoint of everything when we find those sweet dimensions in someone in a little moment that we had waited round the lifetime with the one person.

Moments of Truth....

Moments of time…when we are really not what we see us to be.

At times it is the adrenaline that drives us to surrender to situations and activities that we do not relate to. Being ambitious is one thing. Striving to fulfill the ambition is another. To be happy is completely a different story. We can drown ourselves in the pros and cons of the three or simply choose to be. Have big ambitions in life but have bigger dreams.

We come across ideas that color the window in front of us. We look at them and try our best to have the colors glorify its place forever. What we loose is looking around inside the room to find out if the color outside the window would adorn the room we live in. We are all pregnant with possibilities. So we must be patient and start decorating the small things in the room that we walk through everyday. The happiness and soulful work would brighten up our days and the window scene would be good anyways.

Chase your inner soul and listen to what it says. Small things that keeps us happy, keeps us contented in life. 

Search for brightness !!

Life is crazy at this point. There are so many things that have changed with moment in time yet…so even at this point, the instances stands still. During all these passing phase, I realized that once a person is broken in a certain way, he/she can never be fixed. People around us never think of this while we keep breaking into pieces day by day.

It is important to make choices in life and firm choices are more difficult. It will offer you a life to spend it the way you want to. If not we see our life being spent by others. This complicates our daily life, as if it was not already done with.

Situation goes uncontrolled when you try to ignore the love that’s standing next to you, while you beg for the love that was never yours from others. While you do this, you just loose the moment of being loved back. Gone is the time to glorify to others, your happiness. When you are happy- everyone will see. Destiny has already written what it has to offer. Good or bad, it is better to create your own imperfect destiny that to dwell to be happy in someone else’s imitated perfection.

13 day ~ Lucky or unlucky

13 more days left for my life to take a new direction. As I look back into all the years, days and times, I try to understand Life backwards; it will offer me with norms that will make me live forwards. There has always been a lot of learning from the appreciative, sensitive and the understanding people around. They are the ones who filled my life with compassion, gentleness, and deep loving concern. To be with them has offered a lot of lessons in life. I have realized that even fools look at things and know, the point lies in making sense to it, to be understood and to create the 1^st step of acceptance. Creativity is a hidden silence. Looking for it is like seeking peace. Relationship also is on similar lines. One should understand even when they do not understand. There lies the creation of an aesthetically active person. These people help you distinguish between the ones we've known forever and are still unknown. We determine through them about whom to preserve in fond memories and whom to move on with. They are the ones who make small things happen to you till something really strong occurs. 

Wake Up Call......!!

I can see, from here, the repeatation of the mistake you so run away with. Few years from now, you will once again, be more disappointed by the things that you did not correct and did not change than the things that you did.

We fail to see the things happening around us in the way they are. We see them the way we are. Hence, the presnt is leading to become worse than the past and less resolved than the future.

For me, I dn't know what it would be....though I am prepared to be with your constant not so cooperating ways. For you, it could be another terrible waking up when you could no more catch the trade wind in your sail.

That is the morning when I will not be there to answer what the world will need. Today, tomorrow and my whole life through, the only thing I have beleived the world to need is waking up.More people needs to wake up to the passing time and loosing moments of life.

Duty

Life has suddenly filled up with list of mundane doings that I dont want to do but know that i have to and i should do. Soft living has become the theme that is inseparably connected.

It is getting me nowhere but to the guilt of ultimate complicasy. It is the golden rule that lets one do all the things that is never wished to do less. The mind today is tempted to break free from all the duties that are faithfully put on me with the thankless stars on my shoulder.

It hold me forever, like a crutch, when i know that I have my own leg to walk away to the path I want to. I am not a Puritan, not devine, nor a samurai. Listen to my unwelcome truth and let me free.


I am not meant to be in this, though it makes me think that i would survive it in a hopeless way.

The Mirror !!

There are about 60 odd steps to go. A destination filled with anticipation and conceptions that is being proved incorrect with every move. The moments so dear to me is transforming into meaningless episodes that I just want to pass and forget.

I wish I never repent to all the things I had always wanted to make into little cherishing happiness till yesterday. Today has been a very long day. The longest day of facing the truth about what it wasn’t all about. Today is the day, when the broken pieces of mirror across the floor, with the stains of the red color oozing out from my hand, which I looked so hopefully into tomorrow, is painful.

I had loved the mirror so dearly; it used to be my favorite creation of colorful painting. I will miss it so much but since life goes on, I will accommodate with the mirror of this habitat. I will never paint it bright or decorate it and love the look of it or look for my dreams through it. I will let be.

Abir - The bravery to revisit your Childhood

The sweet innocence that lies beside you today is the bundle of joy. This occasion of your life is what you have received and while you got it, kiss every twinkle of it and take every opportunity. Enjoy this chapter like a piece of cake, entirely for you, in this world.

As those tiny happiness ruptures into every smile of yours, seize on to it. This is something that is not only good for you at this moment; it is the very raison d'être why you don't have something better. It is the best, a paramount. This is the revisit of your childhood dreams...be disillusioned, be stupid, be of poor judgment and be in love with this bundle of joy. Live the life of your imaginations. Capture every moment close to your heart and you will find yourself dwelling in a beautiful world. We do not loose anyone, since we do not own anyone. That is the true experience of building the center of all happiness without signing an agreement of ownership. Break free to this lustful life, walk the road with the tiny feet, rediscover your life to meet yourself again and again. This life is your colorful rebirth- Happy Birthday !!

Sugary Heart !!

I keep looking forward…as there is no option to turn back and correct everything. Life is creating an illusion now and it is dominating me to consider that there are very faded chances of meeting the “me” I used to be yesterday again. It feels like a few days back from now, in the coffee shop, that we giggled and pinched each other while talking about the kind of people we would never be. Here I am, today, forcing me to go through the only way to keep up to myself, the only way to be approved by everyone about my sanity is by being what we both never wanted to be. It has been almost 1 year since the coffee shop laughter.

My early morning heading out to work was also an escape from the house. I do not need to lend my ears to listen to corrective improvement activities that anonymous human being should do in order to relief the social burden of having me as a part of the livelihood. Surprisingly, the pride of being able to stand up to my thought process shatters into pieces when these kind words are guided to follow into my ears. I made a smart escape for the day to the unloved workplace, much dearer to me for today. 

I docked my laptop and checked my emails. Nothing noticeable is overflowing my mailbox so far. I can treat myself to moderate my body caffeine. It is a gloomy day, cool breeze with little drizzles that visit and vanish from the face of the earth are like my tears. I enjoy it to the fullest. Am I nourishing my emotions to thrive and nurture in the warmth of my regrets. No, I cannot do that. That is an erroneous advance and definitely not what my rationality authorizes me to do. I am not here to transact with inconsequential issues and uncover solution to make up for all the fingers that point me. As the superior words flow, it is ok to formulate changes when circumstances obliges to and here I am crafting the inventory of amendments that I was never taught for all these years but now expected to be. This is a slumber feeling of loosing me. This is a soar pain of insecurity where I can see myself vanishing in the crowd of the cattle class. I am walking into the darkness of the night. My psyche drifts away again. I know how deep a swimming pool can be, I can see the refracted image from the surface. What if I knowingly, dive in, and fail to come out. What if I go far towards the bottom with the wish to touch the floor of the pool and find it difficult to breathe? What if my limbs give up fighting my way back? What if I manage to come out and find darkness all around me? What if I had stayed there too long inside the saline water and changed into a different person who the mirror too refuses to recognize.

I look into the creamy heart of my cappuccino that was served. It is beautiful and admirable till I dispense a pack of brown sugar and stir it up. That is what happens to a human heart as well. We are filled up with sugary love and finally stirred. I sip my coffee and brain storm while it drizzles and stops and comes back again. Water droplets hit my face and few make friend with the tears in my eyes. Paranoid thoughts coming back to me and I hate to think any further. I get up and prepare to leave.

Jinx of Love !!

(Post conversation with a closest friend..............., I too spoke to myself!!)

Why do people suddenly get ready for marriage? Is it love, is it self decision to keep a  promise to be with each other, is it looking forward to togetherness or is it the fear of loneliness that intensifies after every body else got married.

I just came across two perfectly good people who finally got into a very imperfect situation called marriage and within a short period of time, started dragging it to an extent that they now finally await the judge’s approval to call it a TATA BYE BYE.

Love is never disrespectful, if it is, then it is not Love. We must think it over and over again. We all  deserve better life. One partner is not entitled to emotionally manipulate the other to do something they do not believe in.

Darn....................none of us get married for so called love they sing in the Bollywood flicks and the romance of the Mills and Boons series. Does love just pass us by nowadays or is it that it doesn’t exist at all. We all finally get married for all the wrong reasons.

Does anyone think about mere companionship of doing things together? Did anyone ask before marriage what is required, what will be combated and what can be worked out together? Does anyone decide of build a house with the complete effort of the 2 people whose dreams will be nurtured in it without advices and nosing of all the 3rd elements in their surrounding? 

It is never so, Hence, the other partner keeps on funding themselves in the rut and finally lives in a every second day situation which land the relationship into a phase too good to leave and too bad to stay.

Simplicity............!!

Simple accomplishments and thoughts revisit me as the foundation of being here and existing in your world. Life has more than just us to deal with and our things to make happen, it also consists of clutters, some unavoidable ones. Out of these clutters, we have to initiate and search for minimalism.

True elegance and sophistication lies within the unfussiness of mind. That is the keynote of wealth of goodness. This will build our strength and keep us going. When confronted by difficult moral choices, I follow my elegance and choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. As I keep up my best foot forward simplifying this life, solitude will not remain with me for long, weakness will not remain around me and complications will not hunger around me.

This will offer a life more loving, more trust worthy and more wishful. My wishes are patient enough to be endured and simple enough to be believed. I know how to face my needs that stand on my path like problems- will distinguish the necessary from the real and daring life of impulsive passion. I see the tragedy there and I have learned to let go. This letting go is about consciousness, is about throwing the light on the terrible truth that one so tries to keep aside.

Here we call us strong, where we need to be only aggressive; we act to be free, but we merely are licensed; we act to be compassionate, we need to be polite; we pretend to be good, but we are required to be well behaved. We have to adopt to live simply, beautifully and truthfully.

Why invite fatality in order to call ourselves brave, and bury ourselves like thieves from life?

Truth.................... !!

The moment of truth is here. When I look around I see people trying to be who they are not. Being the cool they are not, being the stable they are not and being the fighter they are not. They are not my problem as well. Their problems are another completely different set of people who know and are exactly what they know about themselves.


I am one of them. Being a rebel for everything is definitely not the being correct. But being what I think is correct is not being wrong as well. I am what I believe in and I disgust being who I am not. I also disgust people who act to be what they are not. I feel repugnance towards the ones who fail to be themselves and struggle to be someone else.

There is no harm in quenching ones thirst of knowledge. There is no harm in diving into the darkness of disbelief to finally find the light of what is scientifically worth believing. Generation hand over their manuscripts of knowledge and as they move from 1st hand to a 2nd hand down the cohorts, they formulate every declaration of the script according to their convenience. There is no greatness in being imprudent and carrying over what has been handed to you. Imprudence is so filled with antipathy. And performing a transaction with the antipathy is worse. That is what I tend to discover myself doing now and then. That is when I knock the door of nothingness where I reach a moment of complete darkness. I feel numb, I feel drugged and I feel as if I am sinking to nothingness.

That…is the moment to face the truth. That is the moment to move away, move a step back and open up to the starlit sky. That is the moment to realize that I have to move on and I have to stay on, I have to adopt silence and I have to make sense, I have to move far away and I have to find myself.

The Hinge ~ 2 people !!

In a relationship, indifference and negligence do much more damage than outright dislike. An ideal situate of soul mates do not exist anywhere today. At times, people get lucky and meet someone who is the right one for them. Their combined flaws are arranged in such a way that they are perfectly hinged together. That is when they fall in love with each other- maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever. During these ups and downs of deciding the corridor of togetherness, keeping the hinge tight is a greater effort to achieve. I've often wondered what makes a relationship last...and I have always concluded to find that everything we love finally finishes off, including the love itself. Breaking even from everything is definitely difficult but one needs to stop punishing themselves for something they couldn't help. Sometimes things happen to people and they're not equipped to deal with them. Seldom does it happen that a relationship is not a little disguised and not a little mistaken. That is where disappointment comes in as heartbreak. In a relationship, no one has the right to say or do anything that diminishes you in your own eyes. It does not matter what you think of me, what matters is what I think of myself. Hurting someone's dignity is a crime. In that case, never be in such a relationship that is bonded with trailed disappointment. After all, you cannot loose something you never had.

The Psych.................. !!

I always wanted a life less torturous. There are already countless surprising events in our years to live, over which we have no control. The slightest we can do is making our fixations less complicated and more undemanding and welcoming. Lately, things have neither been welcoming and nor been significance celebrating. I do not sense anything at all on the subject of this intact obsession akin to what I used to experience without this succession of episodes.


Now, I let it go. I suffer like I am swimming against the current. It is exhausting me. After a while, I will not battle anymore with you. I can fight with someone close to me, with whom I want to win or loose. You all will not matter anymore. Whoever you are, you will also just have to let go, and the river will take me along and bring me home. Home is the state of my mind where I was, alone but not lonely like I am today. Today I see yet again the people so defined and so alike. Different places have their own characters, but the people begin to look the same. You look so similar to every other person who is week in front of their own devils. I do not possibly relate to them, I do not relate to, “The” you I do not know.


I’d rather, to the “us” who I have always known. I'd rather be a freak than a clone.

The work of fire is to burns; that's its nature, and you can't anticipate or even imagine altering that. You have to be able to use it to cook your food or to burn down your house. And is the fire you use for cooking any different from the one you use for burning? And does that mean you should eat your food raw? Think about it……. Should you not learn to use the fire in the way it is to be? I would not ask you not to play with fire……. But I will also tell you “Don’t be surprised if the fire plays back on you someday.”


I always had this string of things about me, I have the look of otherness, the eyes that see things much too far ahead, and a thought process that wander off the edge of the world. You call it rebellious or unapproachable but to me the one who casts no shadow isn't really anyone at all. I am.


Some things can be both real and imaginary at the same time… And we are standing on the cross road. I am true. I am imaginary!!

Horizon to Hopes !!

The horizon to horizon clouded mantle spreads athwart till where my eyes can go. This is the magnificent and breathtaking moment I had awaited so long. The splatter that brings out the best of everything it touch is finally here. This is the Midas touch on mother earth. The freshness that disperses the purity of the green and the aroma that drives a tranquility of love for life is here...spreading its wings scope to possibility.

The gloomy days of black clouds overwhelms me when I gaze at the sky. There is no grey up there. The white beauty of snowy cloud has been reinstated by the black. There is authentically no consignment for the grey. I try to stature what is hiding behind the black-the rain or the rainbow.


The day is stunning, striking and hopeful. The day is mysterious and painful. It is beautiful with all the objects that crafts this day. This day is hopeful, trying to look across the horizon to perceive the coming tomorrow. Mysterious with all that I cannot identify, I cannot experience and I cannot distinguish- there is an arena occupied with panorama around. Far away from me, in the hiding, is a so faithful and so true voice, painful with the unpredictable is waiting right there.


How would I ever know- is it me, awaiting the rain or the rainbow???