Vanishing Caravans...!!

Collated from the amazingly difficult work by Mittal Patel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=w8cZ2iJARPM

India is a country of cultural diversity and this is a land where one can find vast differential equation of humanity that has unresolved calculations. This diversified equation is no wonder the biggest challenge of the fastest growing nation in this universe.

While cities like Mumbai is ruled by a large group of strongly bonded community living in the famous slums, states like Gujarat has fallen back in keeping count of the Nomadic and Denotified tribes and failed to give them an identity in this country.

As the name tells us, Nomadic are the people who travel from place to place and hence to give them an identity or keeping a count is a practical challenge for the system. They livelihood is generally in the outskirts of the villages and that is more definitely because they are not accepted by the communities. On the whole the Nomadic and Denotified tribes lack their identity for which survival is a challenge for them. As the system of dependency on identity goes in circle, they have been pushed into the darkest corner of our society.

Their professions are more like salt traders, jugglers, junk jewelers, basket sellers, tattooists, snake charmers, ayurvedic healers, fortune tellers and entertainers partnering animal. Like a lot of other things, these professions are also loosing their value with the gadget gizmos taking over. Again with the Animal rights being made strict, the nomadic have lost their major mean of earning.

This is extremely sad, but on contrary, some of us have done unforeseen harm to the animals which have given way to make the regulations strict. Human beings are the craziest animals on earth. They are the ones who have been able to survive as the fittest and during this war for survival; a lot of other species have become extinct. Hence the introductions of the law, with the promise to provide animals an equal opportunity to survive on earth like the human beings.

On Chennai or Mumbai or Kovalam beech, when I enjoy the cool breeze and walk through the sand, I often see these nomadic go around with ponies/horses with a rider. The pony is his mean of earning, lanky, weak, unbathed, unfed and yet drudging along bringing earnings to its master's household. Does the master feed it well and take good care of it? We all know the answer. We all see women with snakes in the basket begging for alms at the traffic signals. I often wonder what they feed the snake. Are they fed in days together?

It is always that one handful of people in the society who do things to attract problems for the entire big numbers. It is that one group of people who engage in robbery, burglary, killing and domesticating species to make them their way of living and the effect is on a lot bigger numbers. It is unfortunate of nomads that they have lost their prime way to earning due to government rule, but begging is not the only way to survive after that. As Indians, more number of organizations like VSSM should join hand to give them an identity, to set up school for them, to teach the fathers and brothers that they are the protectors of the woman in the family and not the destroyers. To tell them about preservation of the wildlife and how equally important they are like us humans.

These organizations should approach the government and the tourism department to facilitate these nomads to earn their living portraying their art and culture as a part of the rich heritage of our country. The nomadic system is an important part of our lives and the carrier of our history. We should think of ways to enable to earn their living, have voter right, be a part of the society, have their children get adequate education and their daughter have families. They should be proud of their identity in the society and continue to be the same by generations together. If they are looked upon as they are done today, they would soon die out. The privileged groups will want to use the facility of education to become social people and the ones who could not reach out to be among the privileged ones, will soon die out begging and robbing and finally getting killed. Hence, our motto should be to preserve the nomadic culture and provide them with the social upliftment as what they are. That is where we come in, the well read cluster of the society. Nomads need an identity in the society. They bear with them a strong cultural heritage and Indian history. We should preserve then, promote their art, and promote the folk dance drama of Bhavai and Targalas. We should assist them to create an identity in the society as nomadic tribes of India and earn through their heritage. Educate them with their history and make them proud to be what they are. We should preserve the culture of having a healthy family among them so that they too do not become extinct like the minor animal to could not keep up to the fight for survival.

Change ~ that needs to happen within !!

A century of the woman this is. While a group of woman are leaning in and making history to create a mark in this world, another group is being brutally put aside by the society while they simply try to exist. When later, we will want to look back; the history will show us that the anonymous was always a woman. They are compelled with enormous demands in this society. They are dragged up to the corner expecting to be more courageous and tougher. Her naive innocent self is no more given way with. She in return, wishes to be happy than dignified. Sometimes, she would escape to be just a fool. Her being an innocent fool gives her more breathers in life than being a Heroine. This way, she is at least not a victim.

The domination in this society has been given away by a woman to the others. Sometimes, it is the man and other times, it is another woman who is breaking a woman into pieces. A woman has to voice out her opinion and show her strength. Be it a man or a woman, it is important for him/her to give a second thought before he plans destruction. A woman has to live her life the way she wants to or live and repent about a life that she could have lived. So be it, if it is in her own terms, on high heels.

A woman has to care for other women and be compassionate about their own sexes. She should differentiate and build a fine lady instead of letting her living like a rational creature. Once she comes out of that comfortable and secure place to deal with the world, she will be stronger than ever and safer than all.

Our society will only assist her to be what she wants to be, but first, she has to be what she wants to be. She has to take that 1^st step to be the two things that complete her. She will be who she wants to be and what she wants for her.

Journey of my 1st Pink Diary.....till #CloudBlogathon

Inhibitions are a characteristics that a lot of us kneed like a small plant in our garden.
A kind of mindset that a lot of us build, brick by brick, including me. Blogging had been my passion from so early in life, that I don't exactly remember when I started, I had spent a lot of my growing up years writing letters to myself from a very early age. These letters contained my dreams, aspirations, love, hatred and frustrations.
I remember being caught by my mother with small paper cut scribbled that described a moment that had passed my mind. At times, it sounded like small notes that a girl would pass on to someone, sometimes they were addressed to anonymous, most of the time they were descriptions of how my heart feels about an occurrence. My parents were always worried about my lack of too many friends, since I grew up in remote places of the country with not a lot of children around. Nature was my friend.

I often spoke to pebbles that are stuck by the flowing stream and addressed them as luckier than me, since they get to be there all the time. It was then I got my 1st pink diary. My scribbles continued and gradually got lengthy and descriptive. I did not realize when it became a part of my daily paraphernalia. And buying notebooks and diaries another hobby. I always believed that writing is a personal venting place.

Situations that do not allow to speak out or address is easily given a shape by being written down. Places we visit do not complete the frame with the photographs we bring back and the memories we  preserve, writing them plays a role as well. An experience with people we meet, places we see, food we taste, party we crash, friends we make, relationships we keep up to and love to gain or loose- everything can be addressed, preserved and turned into a memoir through writing.

The notebook took its toll and changed in an online diary which later transformed into a blog page. But my inhibition of maintaining the personal tagline to it never changed. With online blogging, I generally became comfortable with sharing my blogs to unknown faces behind other blogs, I read theirs and shared mine. Few more time passed when I finally went ahead to share my blogs to all platforms and all the known and the unknown faces of the blogadom at #CloudBlogathon.

Till today when, with Indiblogger, I met about 200 odd fellow bloggers face to face. This has been the 1st blogger meet for me. I was ecstatic, overjoyed and  nostalgic since this has been a very long journey. This was an unplanned one, never did I think in my wildest fantasy that there would be a day when the scribbles and small notes would take a turn to meet a 200 odd people who had also had a similar journey like mine. This had been a pleasant turn and someday....yes, someday I would look back to this day as a stepping stone to listen to ripples of the water where the pebbles happily lie.

Live ~ While it is not too late !!

The number of breaths that we take between the time we live is called life. While we live, the things that let us live and not just exist or co-exist are the moments which take us to where we want to go. These moments allow us to be the one we desire to be and grant us an identity.

Everyone has an unusual life, everyone want to live theirs differently. Again, there are the ones among us who gaze away to live like someone else. While they transform into a different person, they lose the ones who were associated with their real self. We leave everything behind to wrap the world in our embrace and we loose something more precious, our soul self.

There is incredible existence deep inside two people that has no name; it is not love, hatred, feeling, sex or companionship. It is nameless, but soulful. It is the acts of common instinct, something denoted by wavelengths. It might not be an act to battle together or accomplish a bond, but it is doing things similar, together or separate, the proceeding remaining the same. It is like ecstasy, where every individual dwell in different thoughts through the same medium.

So, the psyche had built a plan to live this life, to set free the dreams, to climb the mountains, swim the oceans, watch the sunset, read the books and enjoy the music under the deserted tree, on the whole to listen to the heart. And now, one part of the soul looked further away into another, away from its own. It now wants to take the jet plane and circle the world, climb the ladder and reach the top.

Nothing will wait for one’s convenience to reunite. No one fails to know that loneliness is not the way of living. While you is busy with everyone talking around you to climbs the ladder to reach the high, to compete and to win the battle, you will fails to listen to the truth of your heart. If there is no silence, the unnamed space inside you will not speak a word. When surrounded by so many ambitions one does not find the unnamed space to preserve the memories to look back to? Memories are not preserved in the heart or in the head. They are preserved in the beautifully decorated frame of space in the wrapped world people create.

Soulful ??? Then Live ~ While it is not too late !!

Chemical Happiness !!

As we grow up, we start growing older.We start taking more time thinking of doing something which we would do without a single 2nd thought when young . We come across situations that slow us down. Some episodes pass our lives like a wind, some come into our lives and quickly leave. Some episodes make sure to stay for a while and leave footprints on our life forever. All these things change us with the passing time.

We gradually get to learn that the one person who we believed would not let us down, probably will do so and leave us heartbroken.  Every single time it will break harder than before. As the clock ticks its time, happiness returns and you realise that it had never left you at all. It was forgotten unnoticed in one corner, waiting to be picked back by you. Happiness, after all, is the hidden wildness in you, too wild to be tamed by anyone and more wild for someone to snatch it from you and run away.

Happiness is the identity of a person. Your reaction, behaviour, madness and love is catalysed by your happiness. It brings out the best in you and helps you blend with the person with the same amount of chemical imbalance that you have. That- is your soulmate.Cherish the moment of having one since everyone does not get lucky enough to have someone that makes saying goodbye a very difficult task.

Communism Curbed !!

"The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles." This was the Communism that Karl Marx had given to the people of this world. Following these golden words, we had come across a handful of political economist, sociologist, theorist and finally came the communists.His ideology was later on called Marxism.
His Ideology was followed in Russia by Vladimir Lenin.

Communism came to India during the later years of the 2nd world war.Later on during the Indo-China war in 1962, the party showed conflicts as socialist and capitalists.It hence split and went on to govern the states of Bengal, Kerala and part of Andhra Pradesh. Today's communism would have shamed Karl Marx. Today communism does not let common man have a peaceful life, have their choices, have their views considered. Todays communis is Vandalism to the horizontal extent.

Thou Mayest....or Thou Mayest Not !!

We are a part of the strangest society on the face of mankind. Free without freedom.

When we are children, the dreams that paint our walls are picture of freedom. The path of life is so set in a way to bind us with the clamored dependencies to buy those freedoms.

I laugh when I look back.  As we grow up, we are tied up with the weight of so many things, so many feelings, so much of duties and so much of liabilities, that eventually we end of fighting towards an unachievable wish to be set free. If we have nothing, we practically have everything. To set ourselves free from the boundaries of the rules around us is a very difficult task. To be morally responsible for everything we do is a burden again. 

At times we are not free because we do not want to be free. We do not want to break out from tolerating what is intolerable. We find it challenging to change anything that is institutional. Hence, freedom for us is being chained in our feet with a trail which is hooked at the other end with our moral.

A Note to the Women of Today !!

A Day for the Women of today….. We wash the vessels, drive the cars and debate the workforce. This life is full of challenges and complexities. While men feel what is the big deal to wash vessels , I guess the deal is in washing the vessel, cleaning your hand, dressing them up and working on your laptop at work, while your fellow men colleagues silently admire our manicured fingers. Now that is a deal.

From changing the nappy to altering the project plan, women do it all. They raise those stunning men who make the difference on earth. We, women, live our life with fulfillment. We are tough, we are ambitious and we know exactly what we want and that defines us. We are the strong one. Every Man we meet wants to protect us. But from what?? A Woman need not be protected. She needs to be loved, appreciated and respected. They are everywhere, they know everything and they can do everything. They only thing that women need to learn is about power. No one gives you the power, you have to take it. A women is giving, she feels the urge to do things for others, small things that would make a difference. She expects the same thing back though untold and in silence. She wants to be treated as special. She wants to be ambushed with attention from the Man of her life. She wants to be the best one out there. This is the kind of women everyone loves and every man wants to take home.

What about the others? The women who have a mind of their own? Are they not the likable ones? Men love their mothers, but they don’t love the woman their mother chooses for them. They want otherwise, though they don’t own up. It is the same with women, they love their mothers too but these women want to be not like the mothers but the fathers. That’s the truth we fail to face. The entire emotional thing is like noodles in our head. It is complicated. It is an end of the era of good girls in prom nights. Happiness and womanhood is about living the day, not worrying about future. So take it easy, revealing too much too soon will not get you long. To the max, the man you adore may kneel down on the street and offer you a ring, but when the woman walks the aisle, she will think a second thought of “for how long?” The vow forever and ever starts a scary dip.

Commitment for women is a slippery slope. While all the changes happen to her, the Man freaks out. A woman always has a secret dream where she walks out of her father’s house in tears and dreams to be greeted by her Man’s family. That changes everything. That makes a difference when she is ready to miss her girl time, college get together and even her shopping sprees. The one who is a fashion road kill is ready to get unnoticed for the man she loves as long as she has all the attention of her man. That is the change in her. Appreciate this woman, don’t criticize her. If she can nail a man, she can beautify her drawing room as well. She can buy flowers for herself and kiss good night to the beautiful one in the mirror, but she wants he man to do it for her. She is the special one in his life, she is the one for him and she wants him to make her feel special.

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY to the untamed ones, be proud of your Man just because he lets you be the one you are. You are Special, you are celebrated and you Rock!!

Choices We Regret !!

The craziest thing to do in life is to get going with a person by his words. Truth half taken and lies half gulped, life is such a whirlpool. It is more like fighting with yourself to believe what you think you know and to disbelieve what you think you saw or heard.

A person who has been careful in taking all the step so far, sometime land up in circumstances which is so compulsive that there is no place to repent, correct or go back.

What went wrong??  Well apparently nothing. Too many calculated steps had drifted the concentration on the counting of the steps rather than the factor to achieve. And here you are in the middle of somewhere unknown.

Negligence and indifference are the actions that do much damage than all the outright dislikes. This leads to all the changes. It becomes harder to hold on to than to let go. It hurts more to for blaming yourself for the wrong feeling you believed to be true. We end up being full of different flavors of the wrong in some complementary way or other, rather that being the sweet dimensions of our life that keep adding to those beautiful things that got us till here. This brings the breakpoint of everything when we find those sweet dimensions in someone in a little moment that we had waited round the lifetime with the one person.

Moments of Truth....

Moments of time…when we are really not what we see us to be.

At times it is the adrenaline that drives us to surrender to situations and activities that we do not relate to. Being ambitious is one thing. Striving to fulfill the ambition is another. To be happy is completely a different story. We can drown ourselves in the pros and cons of the three or simply choose to be. Have big ambitions in life but have bigger dreams.

We come across ideas that color the window in front of us. We look at them and try our best to have the colors glorify its place forever. What we loose is looking around inside the room to find out if the color outside the window would adorn the room we live in. We are all pregnant with possibilities. So we must be patient and start decorating the small things in the room that we walk through everyday. The happiness and soulful work would brighten up our days and the window scene would be good anyways.

Chase your inner soul and listen to what it says. Small things that keeps us happy, keeps us contented in life. 

Search for brightness !!

Life is crazy at this point. There are so many things that have changed with moment in time yet…so even at this point, the instances stands still. During all these passing phase, I realized that once a person is broken in a certain way, he/she can never be fixed. People around us never think of this while we keep breaking into pieces day by day.

It is important to make choices in life and firm choices are more difficult. It will offer you a life to spend it the way you want to. If not we see our life being spent by others. This complicates our daily life, as if it was not already done with.

Situation goes uncontrolled when you try to ignore the love that’s standing next to you, while you beg for the love that was never yours from others. While you do this, you just loose the moment of being loved back. Gone is the time to glorify to others, your happiness. When you are happy- everyone will see. Destiny has already written what it has to offer. Good or bad, it is better to create your own imperfect destiny that to dwell to be happy in someone else’s imitated perfection.

13 day ~ Lucky or unlucky

13 more days left for my life to take a new direction. As I look back into all the years, days and times, I try to understand Life backwards; it will offer me with norms that will make me live forwards. There has always been a lot of learning from the appreciative, sensitive and the understanding people around. They are the ones who filled my life with compassion, gentleness, and deep loving concern. To be with them has offered a lot of lessons in life. I have realized that even fools look at things and know, the point lies in making sense to it, to be understood and to create the 1^st step of acceptance. Creativity is a hidden silence. Looking for it is like seeking peace. Relationship also is on similar lines. One should understand even when they do not understand. There lies the creation of an aesthetically active person. These people help you distinguish between the ones we've known forever and are still unknown. We determine through them about whom to preserve in fond memories and whom to move on with. They are the ones who make small things happen to you till something really strong occurs. 

Wake Up Call......!!

I can see, from here, the repeatation of the mistake you so run away with. Few years from now, you will once again, be more disappointed by the things that you did not correct and did not change than the things that you did.

We fail to see the things happening around us in the way they are. We see them the way we are. Hence, the presnt is leading to become worse than the past and less resolved than the future.

For me, I dn't know what it would be....though I am prepared to be with your constant not so cooperating ways. For you, it could be another terrible waking up when you could no more catch the trade wind in your sail.

That is the morning when I will not be there to answer what the world will need. Today, tomorrow and my whole life through, the only thing I have beleived the world to need is waking up.More people needs to wake up to the passing time and loosing moments of life.

Duty

Life has suddenly filled up with list of mundane doings that I dont want to do but know that i have to and i should do. Soft living has become the theme that is inseparably connected.

It is getting me nowhere but to the guilt of ultimate complicasy. It is the golden rule that lets one do all the things that is never wished to do less. The mind today is tempted to break free from all the duties that are faithfully put on me with the thankless stars on my shoulder.

It hold me forever, like a crutch, when i know that I have my own leg to walk away to the path I want to. I am not a Puritan, not devine, nor a samurai. Listen to my unwelcome truth and let me free.


I am not meant to be in this, though it makes me think that i would survive it in a hopeless way.

The Mirror !!

There are about 60 odd steps to go. A destination filled with anticipation and conceptions that is being proved incorrect with every move. The moments so dear to me is transforming into meaningless episodes that I just want to pass and forget.

I wish I never repent to all the things I had always wanted to make into little cherishing happiness till yesterday. Today has been a very long day. The longest day of facing the truth about what it wasn’t all about. Today is the day, when the broken pieces of mirror across the floor, with the stains of the red color oozing out from my hand, which I looked so hopefully into tomorrow, is painful.

I had loved the mirror so dearly; it used to be my favorite creation of colorful painting. I will miss it so much but since life goes on, I will accommodate with the mirror of this habitat. I will never paint it bright or decorate it and love the look of it or look for my dreams through it. I will let be.

Abir - The bravery to revisit your Childhood

The sweet innocence that lies beside you today is the bundle of joy. This occasion of your life is what you have received and while you got it, kiss every twinkle of it and take every opportunity. Enjoy this chapter like a piece of cake, entirely for you, in this world.

As those tiny happiness ruptures into every smile of yours, seize on to it. This is something that is not only good for you at this moment; it is the very raison d'être why you don't have something better. It is the best, a paramount. This is the revisit of your childhood dreams...be disillusioned, be stupid, be of poor judgment and be in love with this bundle of joy. Live the life of your imaginations. Capture every moment close to your heart and you will find yourself dwelling in a beautiful world. We do not loose anyone, since we do not own anyone. That is the true experience of building the center of all happiness without signing an agreement of ownership. Break free to this lustful life, walk the road with the tiny feet, rediscover your life to meet yourself again and again. This life is your colorful rebirth- Happy Birthday !!

Sugary Heart !!

I keep looking forward…as there is no option to turn back and correct everything. Life is creating an illusion now and it is dominating me to consider that there are very faded chances of meeting the “me” I used to be yesterday again. It feels like a few days back from now, in the coffee shop, that we giggled and pinched each other while talking about the kind of people we would never be. Here I am, today, forcing me to go through the only way to keep up to myself, the only way to be approved by everyone about my sanity is by being what we both never wanted to be. It has been almost 1 year since the coffee shop laughter.

My early morning heading out to work was also an escape from the house. I do not need to lend my ears to listen to corrective improvement activities that anonymous human being should do in order to relief the social burden of having me as a part of the livelihood. Surprisingly, the pride of being able to stand up to my thought process shatters into pieces when these kind words are guided to follow into my ears. I made a smart escape for the day to the unloved workplace, much dearer to me for today. 

I docked my laptop and checked my emails. Nothing noticeable is overflowing my mailbox so far. I can treat myself to moderate my body caffeine. It is a gloomy day, cool breeze with little drizzles that visit and vanish from the face of the earth are like my tears. I enjoy it to the fullest. Am I nourishing my emotions to thrive and nurture in the warmth of my regrets. No, I cannot do that. That is an erroneous advance and definitely not what my rationality authorizes me to do. I am not here to transact with inconsequential issues and uncover solution to make up for all the fingers that point me. As the superior words flow, it is ok to formulate changes when circumstances obliges to and here I am crafting the inventory of amendments that I was never taught for all these years but now expected to be. This is a slumber feeling of loosing me. This is a soar pain of insecurity where I can see myself vanishing in the crowd of the cattle class. I am walking into the darkness of the night. My psyche drifts away again. I know how deep a swimming pool can be, I can see the refracted image from the surface. What if I knowingly, dive in, and fail to come out. What if I go far towards the bottom with the wish to touch the floor of the pool and find it difficult to breathe? What if my limbs give up fighting my way back? What if I manage to come out and find darkness all around me? What if I had stayed there too long inside the saline water and changed into a different person who the mirror too refuses to recognize.

I look into the creamy heart of my cappuccino that was served. It is beautiful and admirable till I dispense a pack of brown sugar and stir it up. That is what happens to a human heart as well. We are filled up with sugary love and finally stirred. I sip my coffee and brain storm while it drizzles and stops and comes back again. Water droplets hit my face and few make friend with the tears in my eyes. Paranoid thoughts coming back to me and I hate to think any further. I get up and prepare to leave.

Jinx of Love !!

(Post conversation with a closest friend..............., I too spoke to myself!!)

Why do people suddenly get ready for marriage? Is it love, is it self decision to keep a  promise to be with each other, is it looking forward to togetherness or is it the fear of loneliness that intensifies after every body else got married.

I just came across two perfectly good people who finally got into a very imperfect situation called marriage and within a short period of time, started dragging it to an extent that they now finally await the judge’s approval to call it a TATA BYE BYE.

Love is never disrespectful, if it is, then it is not Love. We must think it over and over again. We all  deserve better life. One partner is not entitled to emotionally manipulate the other to do something they do not believe in.

Darn....................none of us get married for so called love they sing in the Bollywood flicks and the romance of the Mills and Boons series. Does love just pass us by nowadays or is it that it doesn’t exist at all. We all finally get married for all the wrong reasons.

Does anyone think about mere companionship of doing things together? Did anyone ask before marriage what is required, what will be combated and what can be worked out together? Does anyone decide of build a house with the complete effort of the 2 people whose dreams will be nurtured in it without advices and nosing of all the 3rd elements in their surrounding? 

It is never so, Hence, the other partner keeps on funding themselves in the rut and finally lives in a every second day situation which land the relationship into a phase too good to leave and too bad to stay.

Simplicity............!!

Simple accomplishments and thoughts revisit me as the foundation of being here and existing in your world. Life has more than just us to deal with and our things to make happen, it also consists of clutters, some unavoidable ones. Out of these clutters, we have to initiate and search for minimalism.

True elegance and sophistication lies within the unfussiness of mind. That is the keynote of wealth of goodness. This will build our strength and keep us going. When confronted by difficult moral choices, I follow my elegance and choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. As I keep up my best foot forward simplifying this life, solitude will not remain with me for long, weakness will not remain around me and complications will not hunger around me.

This will offer a life more loving, more trust worthy and more wishful. My wishes are patient enough to be endured and simple enough to be believed. I know how to face my needs that stand on my path like problems- will distinguish the necessary from the real and daring life of impulsive passion. I see the tragedy there and I have learned to let go. This letting go is about consciousness, is about throwing the light on the terrible truth that one so tries to keep aside.

Here we call us strong, where we need to be only aggressive; we act to be free, but we merely are licensed; we act to be compassionate, we need to be polite; we pretend to be good, but we are required to be well behaved. We have to adopt to live simply, beautifully and truthfully.

Why invite fatality in order to call ourselves brave, and bury ourselves like thieves from life?

Truth.................... !!

The moment of truth is here. When I look around I see people trying to be who they are not. Being the cool they are not, being the stable they are not and being the fighter they are not. They are not my problem as well. Their problems are another completely different set of people who know and are exactly what they know about themselves.


I am one of them. Being a rebel for everything is definitely not the being correct. But being what I think is correct is not being wrong as well. I am what I believe in and I disgust being who I am not. I also disgust people who act to be what they are not. I feel repugnance towards the ones who fail to be themselves and struggle to be someone else.

There is no harm in quenching ones thirst of knowledge. There is no harm in diving into the darkness of disbelief to finally find the light of what is scientifically worth believing. Generation hand over their manuscripts of knowledge and as they move from 1st hand to a 2nd hand down the cohorts, they formulate every declaration of the script according to their convenience. There is no greatness in being imprudent and carrying over what has been handed to you. Imprudence is so filled with antipathy. And performing a transaction with the antipathy is worse. That is what I tend to discover myself doing now and then. That is when I knock the door of nothingness where I reach a moment of complete darkness. I feel numb, I feel drugged and I feel as if I am sinking to nothingness.

That…is the moment to face the truth. That is the moment to move away, move a step back and open up to the starlit sky. That is the moment to realize that I have to move on and I have to stay on, I have to adopt silence and I have to make sense, I have to move far away and I have to find myself.

The Hinge ~ 2 people !!

In a relationship, indifference and negligence do much more damage than outright dislike. An ideal situate of soul mates do not exist anywhere today. At times, people get lucky and meet someone who is the right one for them. Their combined flaws are arranged in such a way that they are perfectly hinged together. That is when they fall in love with each other- maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever. During these ups and downs of deciding the corridor of togetherness, keeping the hinge tight is a greater effort to achieve. I've often wondered what makes a relationship last...and I have always concluded to find that everything we love finally finishes off, including the love itself. Breaking even from everything is definitely difficult but one needs to stop punishing themselves for something they couldn't help. Sometimes things happen to people and they're not equipped to deal with them. Seldom does it happen that a relationship is not a little disguised and not a little mistaken. That is where disappointment comes in as heartbreak. In a relationship, no one has the right to say or do anything that diminishes you in your own eyes. It does not matter what you think of me, what matters is what I think of myself. Hurting someone's dignity is a crime. In that case, never be in such a relationship that is bonded with trailed disappointment. After all, you cannot loose something you never had.

The Psych.................. !!

I always wanted a life less torturous. There are already countless surprising events in our years to live, over which we have no control. The slightest we can do is making our fixations less complicated and more undemanding and welcoming. Lately, things have neither been welcoming and nor been significance celebrating. I do not sense anything at all on the subject of this intact obsession akin to what I used to experience without this succession of episodes.


Now, I let it go. I suffer like I am swimming against the current. It is exhausting me. After a while, I will not battle anymore with you. I can fight with someone close to me, with whom I want to win or loose. You all will not matter anymore. Whoever you are, you will also just have to let go, and the river will take me along and bring me home. Home is the state of my mind where I was, alone but not lonely like I am today. Today I see yet again the people so defined and so alike. Different places have their own characters, but the people begin to look the same. You look so similar to every other person who is week in front of their own devils. I do not possibly relate to them, I do not relate to, “The” you I do not know.


I’d rather, to the “us” who I have always known. I'd rather be a freak than a clone.

The work of fire is to burns; that's its nature, and you can't anticipate or even imagine altering that. You have to be able to use it to cook your food or to burn down your house. And is the fire you use for cooking any different from the one you use for burning? And does that mean you should eat your food raw? Think about it……. Should you not learn to use the fire in the way it is to be? I would not ask you not to play with fire……. But I will also tell you “Don’t be surprised if the fire plays back on you someday.”


I always had this string of things about me, I have the look of otherness, the eyes that see things much too far ahead, and a thought process that wander off the edge of the world. You call it rebellious or unapproachable but to me the one who casts no shadow isn't really anyone at all. I am.


Some things can be both real and imaginary at the same time… And we are standing on the cross road. I am true. I am imaginary!!

Horizon to Hopes !!

The horizon to horizon clouded mantle spreads athwart till where my eyes can go. This is the magnificent and breathtaking moment I had awaited so long. The splatter that brings out the best of everything it touch is finally here. This is the Midas touch on mother earth. The freshness that disperses the purity of the green and the aroma that drives a tranquility of love for life is here...spreading its wings scope to possibility.

The gloomy days of black clouds overwhelms me when I gaze at the sky. There is no grey up there. The white beauty of snowy cloud has been reinstated by the black. There is authentically no consignment for the grey. I try to stature what is hiding behind the black-the rain or the rainbow.


The day is stunning, striking and hopeful. The day is mysterious and painful. It is beautiful with all the objects that crafts this day. This day is hopeful, trying to look across the horizon to perceive the coming tomorrow. Mysterious with all that I cannot identify, I cannot experience and I cannot distinguish- there is an arena occupied with panorama around. Far away from me, in the hiding, is a so faithful and so true voice, painful with the unpredictable is waiting right there.


How would I ever know- is it me, awaiting the rain or the rainbow???

Woman-Kind !!

Women are all one of a kind. Ages ago when the world belonged followed Patriarchy; the days would begin to fulfill the necessities of the fathers, brothers, the partners and the other men. A Woman would embellish the household and add on to the ornamentation of the world that the men were conquering. Then, one day, they looked out of the abode and walked the streets. “This isn’t bad either”, she said. The Man’s world was invaded.

Women are strikingly distinct in their own nature. She could be the one with the striking amalgamation of ambition and compassion, who would decorate her world in her way. She would do what she feels comforted of. She could also be the one living the life of the men with or around her - her father, her brother, her partner or her who ever. She would be the one seeking an approval for every step she takes. She would never want to go wrong or be criticized of her doings. She would want everyone to like her.
When we compared the life of both of them, we find out how they differed from each other. One loved her own self unlike the other.
The woman, who did not love herself, distinctively needed everyone to like her, since she did not like much of herself. She did not approve the world in which she was living. She was not the one doing what she wanted to do. She was doing what she was been asked to do, or what she was been programmed to do. She remained dismayed with herself.
Her counterpart other did not have a rose bed to herself either. Defeat, suffering and loss found her wherever she tried to hide. She fought her way out of it.

Both of them are sensitive, they are appreciative in their own ways, and they have their own understanding of life, compassion towards what they do, who they love and how they love.
The surrounding that domesticates them plays the vital role to make them the amazing ones. Amazing people just don’t happen, they have to be born from oneself and strike out. They have to stand apart, and they have to stand behind and watch. They differentiate from the commoners very early in life. They have a rebel within themselves complaining whenever there is a resistance. They are the difficult ones.
It is difficult to be difficult, but that is where it draws the line. It makes her more dominant. Deep inside her, she nurtures the desire of her conflicted heart. These aspirations of life are not brave enough and not mature enough to come out in the open and face the world when early in life. She has, now and then, allowed her the figments of this life and this has bestowed her with the moments of greatness in her life’s mundane events and activities.
With the nurturing, she has finally discovered the rebel inside.
And now, she is too obsessed with her freedom to accept the rituals and conventions of the household. She is, yet, too steeped in tradition and values to embrace a let go mores completely.
She is the difficult one….. Sometimes a challenge herself for her to face!! She is the desirable, the lucid one.

Dreams.....!!

Dreams are that essential part of us which we cannot give up. From Morning to midnight, from dawn to dusk, it is the dream that we want to reach out to. These dreams are not as big as walking the red carpet for the Golden Globe or discovering an unknown species in the African rainforests. We all have tiny, wee little simple dreams that we love to nurture and want to pursue.

To dream is one obsession but to accomplish it is another. The struggle, the hardship, the sensitivity where our heart churns to give up is more often than not very difficult to contemplate. So, stick along and stay put.

When I give myself the time I require to nurture my dreams, they enjoy the space they get to thrive. The day by day chores that we minimally cannot deny ourselves of, can do without attendance for a day. These activities that are so sweltering, confining and panic inducing would take a back seat and this breathtaking moment of thought work would construct a big part of my existence.

My existence has a time to meet, to discover, what I have walked so far to learn. While I am still pondering and getting up to turn to the next page, I am passing by episodes of my life, friends and foes. As I pass, I leave them behind. And when I finally reach where I have to, I see me all by myself. Leaving everyone while I walked up to here, the only person to count on will be me, its all about my very own dreams, after all.

Time and Me !!

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou.
How strong and yet how true the words are? The time we travelled together, however short or long it may have been, has taught us to be who we are. We managed to stay unruffled and not break apart. There have been times we detested each other or times we loved incessantly. In either times we have always wanted to be the shoulder that would sustain us from breaking apart. We stood strong all throughout and today when you move away far and further away, oceans apart, I would still be that shoulder for you to rest.

The limitations that we bound us with have let us be ourselves. The challenge today is the inner self. I know the thin line that separates me from being others and I know I can go beyond being me. We have lived in good terms with life. Life has been good to us or should I say, we have been good to life. Breaking even at the edge of challenges, I have found you standing there unknowing and untold. Is it the guiding angel or is it the success quotient of our life? I have always impressed myself by counting it as the success of our life.
.........We are the ones who are able to live it in our way !!

Work that Works me up...!!

A long break from writing. I have been tied out with the desk post and bound with deadlines lately.My fingers have given up on typing the cruel official emails. I voice has dimmed into a silence and my eyes strained looking at the undesirable screen of my work. With time,....I thought I would be drown and choked in work.

All these work stand thankless, all measurement of accolades are biased. The ethics of hard working diminishes into something not worthwhile. And here i stand, in-spite of the bruises to do what I love the most...I write.

All these days of being away from myself, I have been injected with a glossy and florescent office term -Professionalism.My heart out on this page, I wonder what Professionalism would be defined as.
Professionalism is more or less a defined perception of an individuals.Being Cordial is an extended definition of Professionalism for a population.For others, aggressiveness is..professionalism.
Striking a balance to the work we do and do our best in the work is typically professionalism. Twisting and turning the edges of being cordial or aggressive or blunders as long as these activities abide all business implications hold good to be named as professionalism at quote.

Free from you - I am !!

I woke up today to miss no one……I was surprised. I did not know what I was waking up from? A dream or a reality.
Have i been gone too long that I missed no one? Have I been alone too long to miss any one? But who would I miss??... I've never had you so close to miss you when you are away.Never felt you as owned. What is you? Who is you? I do not know what to miss…..now. Your absence has passed through me in a painful way, more than we have imagined.
We all continue to live with some pain. Some shared…some buried deep within. At times we get the opportunity to throw the pain and garland of blame to someone and forgive our own self from the burden. There are times when we don’t know whom to throw the pain on and whom not to garland with the pain. There lies the strength. The strength of being able to uphold it and cherish it as if nothing had even been wrong between me and my pain.I have never missed you......I am free.

Walking towards my years of Love @ 30

It’s been a long time that the age transition has passed me by. The excitement of Teen Age was a feel good factor I used to wait for from long before I was a teenager in person,
When it really happened, I was rather disappointed. Other than the typical hormonal changes, I did not see much of a reason to be so excited about the time.
Parents become cautious; teachers become stricter, every person we have known around us took charge to advocate the teenagers. No one really understood what actually was happening. I remember my best teenage day as the when I became thirteen, That’s it…the end.
End of teens went worst. Strangled with too much expectation and much more challenges to fulfill the expectation. What do I want always remained in the backseat. What could I want? I did not know the world. I did not know how thinks work. So why should I know what I want. I was surrounding by people who knew and decided on what I want.
I hated my Teens….and I wanted those years to vanish from my life for ever. It happened gradually with time. Exhausting me more than what I expected. The 20’s were a dull welcome. It included leaving home and joining University. Leaving the cozy corner of my room to the shared hostel room. The protected safety zone of parents’ opened door to the fun territory of roommates and times of self decision.

Here comes the time I gradually learned to love. These are the days I looked forward to. And with every additional candle on my birthday cake, I identified the person I am. I identified what I wanted from myself and from my surroundings. I tripped, I fell but I made an effort to get up and keep going. I fell in love with my life and I fell out of love a number of times. I changed my pace wherever required, Matured as a person both personally and professionally. As I walked the path towards my late 20’s, Life became worth living. I gradually became proactive to manage my mind. How about not thinking too much of what later in time will fetch me, is what I thought. What if I live for today and live my best? Day by day…time on time, I have stepped to my 30’s and I am typically in love with all that I have with me now.

Love: That one thing we do not know, kills us forever !!

An Illustration from MIB:
In life,......there are seldom clear cut beginnings.Looking back at those moments when we can say that everything had truely started. Yet, there are moments when fate intersects with our daily lives,setting in motion a sequence of events whose outcome we could never have foreseen.

There are times when two complete strangers are destined to meet, destined to become the missing piece in the other person's soul.

They crash into each other as if they have found their strength. From the start they struggle to survive,.....together.

They grow closer, see things that they thought weren't even humanly possible, they go through the hardest trials and tribulations,searching for support in one another; they face the unspeakable,.....together.

Their story is never an easy one. Time and time again, chances separate them.
But we know that in the end,.....nothing in the world will keep them apart !!

Figments of Life....!!

I stand facing the blank nothingness, searching for a non existing feeling of life. Life, for me, has no definition other than the fact that I do not belong to it. Life, for me, has no path to follow, not road to lead and no destination to reach. When I looked ahead for directions from life, I had none. Now that I have managed to find my roads and thrive for my needs to go without the signboards, I get too many directions and signals. I feel lost, confused,devastated and controlled. My instinct at that moment shrinks with the fright of going wrong and going hay-way. Without the glow signs and the rule book,my senses guides me in glory. What rule does life has…I do not know. All I know and believe is that Life is someone I have not met and have not seen and the unseen cannot guide me.
I have never met life to shake hands and come in terms with it. It has always been someone out there who has confused me, misguided me and questioned my capability and challenged me. It terrified me like a tornado…destroying everything I built now and then. I had to stand there telling myself to be strong, making myself to fight it and believing in being un-tamable. When I got something precious, life conditioned me to settle for and give it away. When I threw away an unwanted, I was made to pick it up and save it for all I have. I own nothing today; nothing is there to be called as mine, to be possessed, to fear or to loose. Nothing waits for my smile or tears. I just keep walking…fighting the battle and moving on, picking up the harmless silver stones that I find while I walk.

Friend for Life Vs. Sign a Bond !!

Nothing Keeps a household at bay and the dwellers on their toe more than petty lively houseful debates.A perfect household is the one where the two people agree to absolutely nothing.
Polar disagreement on everything, not trying to adjust anywhere beyond and again not adjusting so much to pull the string to an extent when it finally breaks...In this household, one sets expectations and the other knows where the line is to be drawn drawn.
More so, the best ones are the combination like a hard working dedicated, looking forward to do better and best person with a violent restless psychopath.
Spice it up more...they be from 2 different region, different history, society and cultural outfit...the entire relationship quotient is grounded in grammatical and semantic disputes.

Both believe that The key to a successful relationship is communication...while one talks it out to the other, the other one only talk in the mind.There are certain verbal shortcuts to a lot of arguments. Sure, it could be eased into things, build up momentum slowly, but that's so wasteful.Hence they say zero-to-arguments during those times.

Finally they warm up, get back to each other and declare that they are everlasting friends.Being "Single-enough" is awesome, more good is to have a friend to cushion in.These friends are set in their ways by time, and mostly they just don't want to step up to that level of responsibility and emotional entanglements that go along and there is not much impetus for these people to change.It is so much easier to go on with a fairly comfortable situation than to suffer the pangs that go along with emotional entanglement and continuous change in life.

So being friends and being together are the best things that a man and his best woman can do.They are already committed to all that they have to commit and doesn't want to change the status quo.They have practically burnt the bridge and crossed it too.They be in peace and they be happy in contrary to the so called full of Opportunity and self-respect oriented "Sign a Bond" relationship where the household runs by "shoot the other person and mount his head in the living-room" theory.

Broken Morning: OPEN LETTER TO A DELHI BOY: one of my best blogs So far !!

Broken Morning: OPEN LETTER TO A DELHI BOY: Dear Delhi boy, Namaskaram from the South of India, or as you may like to believe, the countries south of the Vindhyas. I came to your city...

Doing My Part......Fighting Hunger !!

While we are safe at home having the delicious meals served and re-served....there are children out there, hunger stricken...waiting to get a few grains.
They are special and they need our support !!
I am doing my Part, please help me...and reach out.

Identify...The Me !!!

A clenching identity question keeps coming back now and then. Am I who I am?

When I watch the activity of the ones I truly adore and idealize, do I still not want to be another person?

I do…..I do….I do!!

This is the perfect way that I want to take a vow.

I do want to be what I want to do the best. I do want to be what makes me feel the Bliss of what I can be. I do want to spread my being across the horizon.

I want to make minor alterations in places which could have led me to where I want to be. I want to go ahead and take the risk of outshining in the skin of the rebellious me.

This is not dis-satisfaction….this is the urge to be able to make a difference. To outline myself with my doings and my look-outs to what I want myself to be seen as.

Life is not meant to be a bed of rose and for the ones like me…I do not want life to bed of rose. I do not look forward to a regular routine day, where I exactly when to do what and how to do it. It’s the unknown that attracts me. The romancing of the destroyed beauty and love that calls me to hold hand. Breaking the rules beckon me. I do not want to be bound and delegated my chores, I would react as I absorb from my surrounding what it wants to quench its thirst from me.

Memories from March !!

March came with vacation plans in hand.....to offer us a lot of joy and hope.

It was the perfect time of the year to let our heart float among the beauty of nature away from the maddening crowd. With you having to walk past me or walk with me…our heart did but catch glances of each other.

Those handfuls of beautiful days when we fell in love with our life all over again, we never wanted to let the time go.

Like every beautiful moment, the vacations came to an end and we went back to the days of balancing act. While you still tried to see the vacation person in me, I struggled to balance my steps. While I pondered on my balancing rope, I looked up to you to see if you were doing good on the balancing rope.

The balancing rope often got disgusting with time. It pulled us apart and made us realize the distance we still had to cover to reach either ends.

Finally, a time came when I said to myself, Vacation is over. You stood far away and to wave your hands and say that you want to let it pass since there are other loves in this world to keep you busy without mine. I remembered the famous saying, “There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice. – F. Scott Fitzgerald, 'The Sensible Thing'.

I let you go my vacation love for that’s how I would keep you close to my heart, away from the mad rush of life. You are the beautiful Boreal Songbird who comes back home to find my love. The sweet nothings, the difficult cold and the love hate – sweet complexities are here to be while I learn to follow your wings to the neverland.

Splashes of a Colorful Me !!

A day that does not start and lead with To Do lists, calendars and time tables…….a day that does not tell me what to wear to work and how to take care of things……..a day that does not tell me how to manage my time and get exhausted by the end of the day.

During these days when it does, I live with an unknown person in me who constantly is trying her best to be what she is not. The ‘me’ who is trying desperately to be the one who people wants to see in the midst of the excel sheet, ppt, meetings and headphones.

And finally …when the time comes for the paycheck…I am contented but not happy. Contented because this will take care of all my basic needs and commitments…..Happiness is not my basic need. A paycheck cannot take care of it.

Life looks like “In perfect shape” to others. Professional stability is the easiest way to link with financial stability and draw a measurement. What we miss is the most important look out…a breath of fresh air, an emotional strength to be with and peace. Professional stability and finance outlines the shape of our destiny. However, they don’t fill the color to ones life.

Unplanned splashes of color always looks beautiful compared to the straight lines and defined boxes with defined colors. Why should Nutmeg, the bird, be brown? Again the canyon, the bird, is brown in color as well? Why should all of them have to have only 1 color- brown? I know that there are 48 shades of brown.

Life should come to us in shades of colors, with splashes of moments. No definite shape.

Explore it, understand the need of the moment and do what makes us happy. It should not make us think too much over the past or worry too much about the future.

We barely try to plan about being sad in life…..then why do we even need to plan about being happy in life?????

Pieces of your smile ~ that never leaves my heart !!

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.

When we are young, our whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, we grow up and learn to be cautious. Sometimes we break a bone and most of the times we break our heart. We look before we leap and sometimes we don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch us……Sometimes we do not want to leap at all because we had fallen the last time we did. The one we thought was there for us…just stood there to see us break in pieces and take the pain.

Life is a series of chances. It’s for us to realize that there is no serendipity. We have to go on, fight it, avail, adopt and look ahead.

Read the signs, don’t miss them.The chances we keep looking for, are hidden there. Grabbing the smallest hint and working on them is best we can do. Rather than waiting and hoping on the next coming opportunity to be happy…should we not make amendments and changes to the one we have with us and make the best out of it? If moments of being together can be so beautiful, why not cherish it? Why should we say, “We will see how it works out!”?? Why wouldn’t we say “This is the best for us and we will make it work”??

One should never let our today slide away. Tomorrow will not replenish the best things in store for today. Take the chance and grab it today!! Who knows…. Tomorrow might have another surprise to cheer up and celebrate with.

Finally, there is one thing we should always know, in life, there's no safety net…….So the question is ……. when did it stop being fun and start being so scary??????

A day Off !!

A day off….is all that I am looking forward to…with literally nothing to do.

I would have nothing to look forward to….for the day. Where there would be no reason to wake up or no rules to follow even if awake. The phone would stop beeping and the words spoken would only be silence. The doorbell would not be anxious to ring and the

Living room would not wait to be warmed up and lighted.

A canvas board, some linseed oil and the pungent smell of paint would make friend with the freshness of the novel I am reading. The sticky paint on my finger would wish to stay and while I look at it ….you will dwell in my thoughts. Give me a day off!!

Confetti of Your Glimpses !!

It is strange that we do not communicate anymore. Its one of those days I hate to be a part of. Once when I looked forward to our small talks and innocent laughter,I begged time for more of you and today when I think of those days, I beg time not to fade away.

After all......This is all I have that belongs to us !!

2 stones and the moon remains the witness of your broken promises. They do not even know just like all the others what had struck and what passed by. They still believe that we would stand by our promises unlike those who had broken theirs and made them happy.

The glimpses of you that never leave my eyes without a droplet of tear are the ones when you waited for me before we started our journey, your eyes wishing I come to you fast and the ones where I stood there to see you off and bid you good bye and my heart said Don’t leave…Please don’t leave !!

Till this day, I wish to go back to those days of your warmth, where you would make up for your promise to me again. i always wish that you would make me stay and we would be.

Public Transport...Oh Bangalore !!

Here is a situation for the public transport using section of the people living in Bangalore. Just the way we take pride to be a part of this city, the vigil public assistance system like the police take great pride in causing harassment to the dwellers.

Last night we were waiting at the Brigade Road to see off a friend post dinner, where we eventually ran into bargaining with the auto drivers as a part of the regular chores.

For a distance of 5kms, they demanded nothing less than a Rs.250/- and the reasons were as good as not getting passenger to return to the same place.He was ready to buy the justification and pay up to double the price in spite of all the lame laws in this city that says one and a half meter only after 10pm.The distance he wanted to ply in the auto was about 5-6 kms and double the amount of the meter would have come to no more than Rs.80/-. However, the Nawaabs of midnight Bangalore were not ready for anything less than Rs.200/-.Their hunger for money grows wild with the non Local language speaking crowd, hence this did not surprise us.

Now the best Part-Then comes the Police patrol,the brightest face of the city. His eyes only hungry for the small changes from the tea stall and the mid night snacks sellers. The Brigade Road Patrol is the most non-cooperative police patrol service in this city.The Bald police man talks nothing other than the local language and flaunts his ability to harass people which finally almost ends in an ill communication.

When asked to assist with hiring an auto, he was upfront enough to tell us that we should even pay Rs.500/- if asked for and go where we have to as soon as possible. His behavior extremely rude and his motives all set to get the slightest clue to create uncanny situation.
Is this the Protection and the assistance that the people living in this city acquire from the police? is this the face of the highest tax collecting state in this country? Is this a part of the decorum they are supposed to follow?

We have created communities in Facebook,we have celebrated the hype of not using the public transport through social networking sites, we have circulated phone numbers and created grievance Cells to fight this ultimate and one of the major issues in this city.
All have failed drastically....and the city remains as back boneless as ever. The Meter-Jam Initiative was a flop.The one day facebook attempt to acquire publicity does not help.

@ipaidabribe.com.....!!

The website that reads I paid A Bribe looks authentic.
To eradicate the bribe paying system...the entire country is trying to pen down issues and upload writeups. We get to anonymously report a bribe, we get to view a bribe report and we have tips and turns to prevent paying bribe.

Then what....??
What happens next??
Who can be reported....and who cannot be?
Can we report the people who interact us in our day to day life? I want to start from my surrounding. Everyday...on a regular basis we try to please people in our surrounding to get rid of a small chunk of uneasiness from our daily life.We do that extra mile at work to outshine or escape a small axing from there...Can I take the privilege of calling that a bribe?
We keep numb to issues, though rarely, to keep the peace going and to avoid unconventional conversation.Do I call that a bribe??? We hold on to our patience, push us to an extent till the time our nerves burst out screaming for some peace...is that a Bribe???

Why do we do it? Is it some kind of treaty that we have signed anonymously to be in the receiving end ???
Finally who all do we pay bribe to? Can we report them all?? And will the system of reporting them.....change the face of the society??
Or should the change come from within??
Rather, should we not change ourselves....!! If it is a "No" let it be a Clean No. If what we are doing is what we want to do, let it be it and let it be because we can face it.
Let us not try and make the person in concern feel comfortable at the cost of our uncomfortable encounters !! Let us stop this system of bribe from our living rooms !!

My Book Reading !!

Reading habits from the very childhood builds the person a child grows up to be.
Having been a restless child, I have become friend of books very late. Having an additional impatient sibling could have been another reason that book and me did not have a good timing to build relationship.
I remember our Living room to a typical modern Bengali household decorated for exhibition with series of Rabindranath Tagore and Sarat Chandra Chatterjee. The exhibit also consisted of Dostoevsky, Wordsworth, Chekhov and so many others whom I never related to. I loved the smell of the new books when they came to be a part of our household, I flipped through the pages hunting for some pictures and I nicely put them back according to the number in the series. The only book that attracted my attention was a Sukumar Roy's literary nonsense called HaJaBaRaLa. The hilarious poems and the striking pictorials kept me hooked to the book. Then came Alice in Wonderland as a gift from Dad and Mom. A transition of linguistic literary nonsense masterpieces by Lewis Carroll.
I always had a lot of people surrounding me, never was shy as a child and as I grew up, my knowledge and literature took a turn through elocution and debates. Again the ardent need to
participate and talk and exhibit my view point in a topic never imbibed the necessity of sitting down and reading books never found any growing hunger towards reading.
It was only during the days when I started traveling alone for my higher studies and Grad School that I became more confined to myself. traveling 16 hours during the weekends to and fro college to home left me with no other company than the Wheeler's Paperbacks in the railways stations.
I started reading.....first one at a time during traveling and then between studies during weekdays. My fleeing home during weekends on a regular basis cut me off from the hostel conversations and canny discussions of the girls, hence more books.
Book reading became my favorite pastime and I started reading Paperbacks, novels and then started pulling books that I had grown up with from the living room exhibits. My college days got over and I never felt sad to leave my room mates or my college mates,I became a professional and still broke the ice with lonely as I had my books with me. I broke handsome conversations
and won debates and cracked communication barrier with the help of the acquired knowledge from the books.
I have literally never been alone, never been lonely, never been hurt because my closest companion never left me. I too have learned one thing from this....You'll Never Have to Look for friends as quoted by Jhumpa Lahiri in REFLECTIONS, Notes from an apprenticeship, The New Yorker's !!

Bizzare true facts from Digital fortress:Dan Brown !

In large cities, Americans are photographed on the average of 20 times a day.

Everything you charge is in a database that police, among others, can look at.

Supermarkets track what you purchase and sell the information to direct-mail marketing firms.

Your employer is allowed to read your E-Mail, and if you use your company's health insurance to purchase drugs, your employer has access to that information.

Government computers scan your E-Mail for subversive language.

Your cell phone calls can be intercepted, and your access numbers can be cribbed by eavesdroppers with police scanners.

You register your whereabouts every time you use an ATM, credit card, or use EZ PASS at a toll booth.

You are often being watched when you visit web sites. Servers know what you're looking at, what you download, and how long you stay on a page.

A political candidate found his career destroyed by a newspaper that published a list of all the videos he had ever rented.

Most "baby monitors" can be intercepted 100 feet outside the home.

Intelligence agencies now have "micro-bots" -- tiny, remote control, electronic "bugs" that literally can fly into your home and look around without your noticing.

Anyone with $100 can tap your phone.
a new technology called TEMPEST can intercept what you are typing on your keypad (from 100 feet away through a cement wall.)

the National Security Agency has a submarine that can intercept and decipher digital communications from the RF emissions of underwater phone cables.

The Teacher

It had been a very tiring episode for my mind to run back and visit the last 6 years of my short and vivid life.I met almost everyone there,missing out a few less impacted people whom I tend not to remember.At every turn I took,I failed to see myself today where I stand when viewed from then.What a dilemma I was in during those deciding years of my career and self?I laughed at myself........kiddish as I was!!!One thing surprised me a lot.All the people who seemed to be a significant someone for me does not exist today...in fact they don't even make a difference to me today.So I decided to come back to where I am.I thought for a long time!!!

Today I have a new set of acquaintance who promises to be with me for the rest of my breath.However,after visiting the last 6 years I do not believe them either.At these deciding edges,I had come across people counted in fingers who had been a pillar to my thoughts.......

There was one instance where a man, a substitute teacher, inspired me. It was in an English class and we were all snickering at the fact that this man was a assigned educator for us.I still remember the day when he 1st entered the classroom.He cleared his voice and began to talk to us. Never before had I seen a whole class stopping and listening to a teacher, regular or substitute. He told us of life,..... philosophy. His voice was so quiet and smooth that not a single student made the slightest move for the whole half hour he talked to us. He just said these things off the top of his head about writing what you care about. He was truly the most inspiring man I have ever known.Throughout the duration of my seemingly short life i have searched for the person who would open my eyes to the world. Someone who would challenge me, helping me to discover who i truly was. He told us the reason why he liked being a substitute was that he liked being able to throw away the plan for the day and inspire. Amazing!!! At the end of the class, he gave another eloquent speech about how he enjoyed teaching us. "Maybe we will get to see each other again. All we have to do is hope," he sang. He made me aspire to do something different and to follow my heart no matter what it says. Thinking that I might never get a chance to meet him again makes me sad. At the end of the class, we cheered. In my heart, I believe at least I had a hope that we shall meet again.

The most obvious position in which someone can be in to have an effect on other people is a teacher. And yet my calculus teacher is undoubtedly one of the the most surprisingly and profoundly influential person I've ever met in my entire life. Not knowing an answer is not an excuse for not getting it right. Never in my life would I have imagined I was capable of the things I have undertaken in her class. For the first time I understand the plausibility of "you can do anything you put your mind to". My whole view on life has changed dramatically, and I now look forward to the challenges and successes I know my life will bring. I wake up every morning knowing nothing is impossible and I can be free to dream whatever I wish because it could very well become reality. Evoking inspiration is the true aspiration of passion-is truely what I believe today.