40's are turning out to be the most liberating years of my
life. Revelations of looking at things from completely different perspectives,
managing relationships, drawing clear lines and stepping away to analyse – I
wish I was in my 40’s a few decades & a handful of mistakes ago.
1. Make peace or walk away – With everything and everyone. There are just 2 ways to inner peace.
2. I cannot change people
– Advises, lectures, grey hair talks do not work. It is not my responsibility
to bring about betterment in other’s life. Trying to play God and save the
world will not bring about any change in my life. The moment you try to convince
someone, you have lost the plot. The truth does not require persuasion,
coaxing, or coercion—it is the truth whether you’re convinced or not.
3. Parents will never
understand – generations together, no parents will understand their children
and children will never understand their parents. I have started addressing my
feelings to my immediate family, not expecting any changes but letting them know.
The decision to stop generational trauma, and stop being the same parents is
for my future of change
4. Siblings are just an
extension of parents – there is no point in draining the peace over family.
There is no end to what can be done for them and there is no visible light at
the end of the tunnel.
5. Friends are not
forever – we will always make friends on the path of life, some friends will
stay, some will move on. Always know who is who in the “forever friends” and
continue.
6. Relatives and rodents
– both are great when they are in the other side of the glass box. They are
visitors, there is not much thought on them.
7. Embrace the changing
time – Acknowledge that the worst time will pass, the good time will pass too.
Just because we don’t agree with a situation, does not mean it is wrong.
8. “It is our culture”
translates to “It is our ego” – I will continue being volatile, upholding and
ready to work on adopting to the surrounding. There is nothing called culture –
what is right and what is wrong are completely human made, personal, situational
& a perspective.
9. Religion is not a DNA
configuration – Religion is not a hand down from our parents, it is a belief
system that brings inner peace to an individual in whatever way I choose.
10. Let Go – Material to toxic relationships, just let
go. Liberate & breathe.
11. Decluttering does not work – Stop cluttering in the
first place. Every time I pick up something, I have started asking myself why I
need it. If I don’t have an answer, I put it back.
12. Organising is well placed hoarding – I have come to
an age where I just keep things simple, clean and organised. Over organising,
labelling, and colour coding is more hoarding of things that will go into the
boxes and never come out.
13. Love people and use things – I have started valuing
time people spend with me & the happiness of their company; over gift they
buy and the noise they create.
14. Minimalism is crap – Getting rid of excess stuff
can be freeing and even exciting, but it isn’t inherently meaningful. Freeing
up space will not bring about achievement into the newfound space. Fill in the
gaps with goodness, beautiful things and build a happy place.
15. Scrolling is the new smoking – I have started
walking few feet away at a time, from the technology bound zombie surrounding
by not continuously scrolling. We don’t want to see, know or read advice,
affirmations and virtual hugs. Let’s have real conversation.
16. Money is material – I need money more than
anything, but not for everything. There is no rainy day that money can save.
Self-care is important as much for the body as for the soul. Stacking money in
the bank is liability, spending it in meaningful hobbies and multiplying it is
what will keep me in the game.
17. Advertisement is the poison – Don’t live in the
pressure to advertise power, position, and possessions. This disturbs the
peace; it is as vicious as pushing oneself into over-consumption. It
indoctrinates our surroundings, gives rise to politics, fuels hatred, fake news
and loses sincerity in relationship.
18. I am not the fixer for all – The more I try to fix,
more things will change its original form. If the problem is me, I will
eliminate it, not fix it. If the problem is someone else, I will not try to fix
it.
19. Conditional love – is the truth. There will always
have to a return of my love with things that are not purchased.
20. Success does not exist – Success comes from succession, that which we get without chasing. A job, a promotion, assets, money – does not define success as it is chased through hard work, suffering and failure. There is no end to the chasing game; there is no end to what the ultimate definition of success will be.
