I woke up today to miss no one……I was surprised. I did not know what I was waking up from? A dream or a reality.
Have i been gone too long that I missed no one? Have I been alone too long to miss any one? But who would I miss??... I've never had you so close to miss you when you are away.Never felt you as owned. What is you? Who is you? I do not know what to miss…..now. Your absence has passed through me in a painful way, more than we have imagined.
We all continue to live with some pain. Some shared…some buried deep within. At times we get the opportunity to throw the pain and garland of blame to someone and forgive our own self from the burden. There are times when we don’t know whom to throw the pain on and whom not to garland with the pain. There lies the strength. The strength of being able to uphold it and cherish it as if nothing had even been wrong between me and my pain.I have never missed you......I am free.
Saturday, 17 December 2011
Friday, 2 December 2011
Walking towards my years of Love @ 30
It’s been a long time that the age transition has passed me by. The excitement of Teen Age was a feel good factor I used to wait for from long before I was a teenager in person,
When it really happened, I was rather disappointed. Other than the typical hormonal changes, I did not see much of a reason to be so excited about the time.
Parents become cautious; teachers become stricter, every person we have known around us took charge to advocate the teenagers. No one really understood what actually was happening. I remember my best teenage day as the when I became thirteen, That’s it…the end.
End of teens went worst. Strangled with too much expectation and much more challenges to fulfill the expectation. What do I want always remained in the backseat. What could I want? I did not know the world. I did not know how thinks work. So why should I know what I want. I was surrounding by people who knew and decided on what I want.
I hated my Teens….and I wanted those years to vanish from my life for ever. It happened gradually with time. Exhausting me more than what I expected. The 20’s were a dull welcome. It included leaving home and joining University. Leaving the cozy corner of my room to the shared hostel room. The protected safety zone of parents’ opened door to the fun territory of roommates and times of self decision.
Here comes the time I gradually learned to love. These are the days I looked forward to. And with every additional candle on my birthday cake, I identified the person I am. I identified what I wanted from myself and from my surroundings. I tripped, I fell but I made an effort to get up and keep going. I fell in love with my life and I fell out of love a number of times. I changed my pace wherever required, Matured as a person both personally and professionally. As I walked the path towards my late 20’s, Life became worth living. I gradually became proactive to manage my mind. How about not thinking too much of what later in time will fetch me, is what I thought. What if I live for today and live my best? Day by day…time on time, I have stepped to my 30’s and I am typically in love with all that I have with me now.
When it really happened, I was rather disappointed. Other than the typical hormonal changes, I did not see much of a reason to be so excited about the time.
Parents become cautious; teachers become stricter, every person we have known around us took charge to advocate the teenagers. No one really understood what actually was happening. I remember my best teenage day as the when I became thirteen, That’s it…the end.
End of teens went worst. Strangled with too much expectation and much more challenges to fulfill the expectation. What do I want always remained in the backseat. What could I want? I did not know the world. I did not know how thinks work. So why should I know what I want. I was surrounding by people who knew and decided on what I want.
I hated my Teens….and I wanted those years to vanish from my life for ever. It happened gradually with time. Exhausting me more than what I expected. The 20’s were a dull welcome. It included leaving home and joining University. Leaving the cozy corner of my room to the shared hostel room. The protected safety zone of parents’ opened door to the fun territory of roommates and times of self decision.
Here comes the time I gradually learned to love. These are the days I looked forward to. And with every additional candle on my birthday cake, I identified the person I am. I identified what I wanted from myself and from my surroundings. I tripped, I fell but I made an effort to get up and keep going. I fell in love with my life and I fell out of love a number of times. I changed my pace wherever required, Matured as a person both personally and professionally. As I walked the path towards my late 20’s, Life became worth living. I gradually became proactive to manage my mind. How about not thinking too much of what later in time will fetch me, is what I thought. What if I live for today and live my best? Day by day…time on time, I have stepped to my 30’s and I am typically in love with all that I have with me now.
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