Review - The Homing Pigeons By Sid Bahri

I have read the book as one of the initial readers and had the review unpublished till today. The reason is unknown, but here it goes.

This novel reminds me of the time of recession. though we have all passed that phase and have travelled to the greener pasture, one one has forgotten those years of a constant insecurity in the professional life. We all loved our friends but always expected one of them to be the chosen one for a pink slip and not us. So many of the known faces have been sent home and have never come back to work.
A very few stories are there that we really know in details.

The homing pigeon is one such story. Rather a number of stories, the characters in which falls prey of the same or similar situation and finally find their way out.

The best thing about this book is the fight for survival everyone puts up with time....even at the cost of coming to the edge to their conscience. The way almost all the character transforms from being a CEO to a Pimp to a CEO of their own wishes again. 

I generally do not prefer reading Indian authors for their lack of flawlessness in the language, for breaking away from linguistic barrier and using something between English and any Indian regional languages.I have nothing against any regional languages, but I prefer being loyal in whichever I am dwelling in at that time. 

This book, The Homing Pigeons.....have done absolute justice to the character sketching, the language and the plot. Even after transforming a well settled household into a dwelling place for unknown human beings to introducing peace in the form of a body shopping experience, the author has maintained a clean story. He has put his effort to keep the standard high above the normal and kept the reader interested till the end.

Whoever reads it would want to complete the book and then put away the book. It is a definite good read, though I was expecting a substantial and directional ending of the primary characters of the book.

Are Diversity Drives in India enabling thoughts Beyond Kitchen Cabinets ??

I read an article from TOI Ascent, dated 28^th August 2013 by BIOCON leader Kiran Mazumdar Shaw describing diversity initiative having a sumptuous number of lady employees in the workforce but not many to compete the ladder of climbing upwards professionally.
This has an insight from my journey in this industry for 9 years now. Most women in India fight a battle to live and let live. Be it their work, colleagues, friends, family or extended family, they are driven by the give and receive structure of the position they hold in life. A happy-nappy mood will be swayed into workplace without a second thought and vice-versa in most of the days. A stack of general baggage will be carried from home to work. Most of them maintain a workplace to prove themselves worthy to the society and to the household. Most of the professional growth is for position and power, rather than learning and development. Most of the certification is for the decoration of the business cards rather than enhancement of skill. That is why, less women take the table, lean in, chase their dreams, enhance their skills. More women at workplace sit back, take the corners, find faults and chase others dreams to convert their lives into nightmares.

I have, in the last long league, worked with a number of women colleague some I have reported into directly. I have come the gracious ladies who have been great goal setters with a balanced cliche of personal and professional life while some particular ones who had been the agony aunts showering their battered life over employees and colleagues around the workplace. And the happy-nappy baggage turns into a burnt curry in no time. The highly affected and the unmotivated ones from these workplace hazards are their colleagues.

I hope Sheryl Sandberg took a special vision over this topic and her Indian Workforce Team. While IT giants get aggressive over diversity, they forget to set the standards inside the organization. The diversity leadership team has those few erode inside the system that sets bad example for others. While I had the opportunity be to working with a few very enthusiastic, encouraging and high spirited lady counterparts, I have also had my share of dealing with extremely over obsessed and parasitic element that washes her dirtiest backyard laundry in her workplace and create extreme negativity among the teams.

Women in India need to be liberated and happy from within. A great personal life and a fertile career with a lot of enthusiasm should be a definite lookout that the diversity team should check upon before signing an employment bond with those who are expected to lead the masses and be the showstoppers.

Today, social media plays a major role in our daily life. We often conclude, if not to the fullest but a part of a lot of things over a person’s facebook timelines, twitter handles and LinkedIn recommendations. We should accept the same and go ahead when gathering a good research work before creating the leadership team. For a person who does not have an active social and professional circuit, industry should not recommend a leadership role to her. Interaction and communication is the key factor of any human being to be a leader. To facilitate team spirit and growth for the people contributing to a leader’s growth is the way to perfect leadership. A leader must have a social gesture.“Be the change you want to see in others”, is a famous saying that we quote today for our socio-political structure. Most women in India cannot vow for that. They cannot take the table, they cannot lead a group, and they cannot raise their hands to ask questions in an official or unofficial forum. Their orientation of being a bold and being an extrovert has such an unruly definition of being the bad one, that they often take to being coy and destructive in a silent manner. 

We have reached the 21^st century but our subject ladies in line are still everlastingly tied between being the good and the bad. Being western is bad, culturally. But being oriental is not in, socially. Being the one voicing out matters at home is bad in mannerism, but again being the one voicing out matters at work requires a good knowledge and responsible contribution. Indian women are confused and are constant in opposition with the voices in their head. Being a culturally driven but globally cultivated country, the industry we work for offers us enough exposure to evolve into a global citizen and accept the changes and the new dimensions that our previous generations have never even dreamt about. Indian men have accepted this change. They have a clear margin drawn to stop their inner battle. They have evolved with time and technology, it is a man thing. They accepted the change, they learned the technologies, they have evolved to lead and they have comfortably synced to move on. They do it for the situation and with the situation. 

Our subject womenkind, a very few in numbers, have happily raised a toast with their man-power around, well wished them and taken the changes by their stride. The remaining other “mother figures” of our global teams have curled up into their shells and worked on to change the workstations and cubicles into their kitchen cabinets in order to continue their existance. They are the ones who lead from behind. They never take the table, they sit in the corner and observe. Complicated contemplation of simple and even ignorable issues is their prime discussions. They never come up with a strategy or a presentation to address their team. They do not learn the core values and survive their years over carpet comments. They have an eye to target a crowd who are better than them to be dishonored and the ones in the introvert circle to domesticate them. They have their survival strategy as designed over their kitchen tricks.

In their kitchen, our subject woman type maintains a wide range of recipe for each and every employee stored in a cookbook. She prepares to garnish them accordingly with her secret recipe. However, since her knowledge is truly outlined by narrow domestic walls, she fails dramatically in the presentation of her dishes and finally broods and cries over them. One failure is linked to another. Once a discouragement crops up, she successfully turn the table to one of her targets while she cherishes her responsibility at work as a success to the answer for her failure elsewhere. The battle, the question and the answer and the requirement to prove her existence is again a fight within. 

Leadership cannot be learned and forced out of an individual. It is a skill that can be cultivated out of being a good leader. A good team would help a leader to bloom. This, my dear lady is something you should learn and engrave on your boasting career graph. Create your skills and set an example to groom yourself into a service leader and not a domestic sideline. Women at our workplace need to have a mind more liberated like the men.

I would only conclude by the famous saying, “You cannot open a book without learning something. – Confucius”

Exodus of Preying Eyes

Jacob Hills on Amazon – Exodus of Preying Eyes:

Ridhima and Gaurav were looking across the hall at each other, over escaping glance.

While Ridhima knew that she had gone ahead and clicked through Gaurav’s facebook profile when she hanged around in her then boyfriend’s apartment in North View Apartments, Bangalore, Gaurav just felt that the lady across the hall pinning him with the stares.

Ridhima and Aakash have known each other for a good 4 years now. Theirs have been an easy relationship. Both belonged to affluent family known to each other for decades now. Though they did not practically grow up together, they crossed each other’s path quiet often in their father’s office parties and transfer locations. They had been together as children for a year when their father got transferred to Kasauli and later on briefly in Ranikhet. Ridhima and Aakash had met in in their university days through common friends and landed up into a steamy affair which finalized into a marriage through parents intervention. Today they are one of the celebrated happy couples, very made for each other. The calm Ridhima and the impatient Aakash. Today they celebrate Aakash’s parent’s 45^th anniversary where, if not all, most of the old connections came together.

After that day, Ridhima, for the first time took the courage to walk into Gaurav’s profile and send him a request to be friends. Immediate acceptance and then through a little bit of back tracking, Gaurav found that Aakash’s wife is a once class mate of his.

“Hi”, he said and waited. “Thanks for the accept” came the reply. A few conventional question and answer here and there till the conversations ended for the day. Before realizing, they planned to meet up over a coffee. Ridhima somehow, did not confide to Aakash. She did her part of the first lie.

Mouthful of sky is what one lie can bring with her. The numbers of her time to meet Gaurav increased with the number of time she lied to Aakash. Aakash had always loved Ridhima as he would to no one else. This love for her, gave a in a wonderful trust that he shared with her. The rather homely Ridhima changing into an outside person did not move Aakash at all. He was happy because his lady was happy after all. His busy work schedule and finally coming back home to snuggle into Ridhima’s arms were the most luxurious and dreamy attempt that Aakash would indulge into. He failed to notice Ridhima awake almost throughout the night to day break thinking about Gaurav while having Aakash sleep in peace in her arms.

A day in a coffee shop was followed by a drive to no where. Another day Gaurav arrived to take her for a celebrated evening out for street food. It was followed by a quick hi while passing the locality of Aakash and Ridhima’s house. Gaurav had all the different excuses to meet Ridhima. She waited for him. She waited for the different ideas that he came up with to spend time with her, unlike Aakash’s splash and swanky dinner places in every ritualistic weekend. In the coffee shop, Gaurav held her hand longer than required while they battled inside the Bill flip, to decide on who would pay. In the street food, he pulled her closer while crossing the road. On her way back from the departmental store round the 5^th corner from her house, Gaurav drove her past her apartment complex for an hour into the highway, till they found a tea stall. In flip-flops and san makeup, Ridh avoided her uncomfortable glance from the denim clad Gaurav; he told her she is beautiful anyways and they laughed.

They other day, when the bell rang in a hot summer afternoon, she opened the door and found Gaurav standing with a grass flower in his hand. He had plucked it from the car park. Just to say “Hi”, is all he said and left. It was Ridhima who made the first move to hold his hand and not just the flower. She had felt his pulse in his palm. When she stopped him and moved closer, she felt his pulse below his throat and then on his chest. Battling his instinct was difficult for Gaurav. He had thought once, before ringing the bell, to walk back. Something pushed him to see her. Rather, it was she who reminded him so much of his past with Shreya. Now with all that have happened, he hated her so much that the hatred for her and her striking similarity with Ridhima attracted him. Like her, Ridhima has this playful instinct over unknown men. She eyes playfully wonders among men sitting in another corner of the coffee shop when she is with Gaurav, just like the first day their sight had met in the party when she was with Aakash. Gaurav hates her for this and yet he adorns her. The day she had no one to sign at across the room, Gaurav was happy. She had all his attention, he told himself and felt jealous looking around the swanky and luxurious living that Aakash comes back to in Ridhima’s arm while she playfully looks across to other men. Today, he had all her attention. They shivered and swirled with each other and Gaurav had her looking into his eyes all throughout. He hated her more and more and washed out Shreya through Ridhima. Hours had passed when finally Aakash pulled in the car park behind Gaurav’s car. Not very surprised, he walked in to the lobby, rang the bell.

Ridhima opened the door and they had guest, saying hi while he was passing by from this side of the city. While the three sat together and sipped their tea, Ridh knew that this is the end of Gaurav and her. Some relationships do not have defined outlines. They are just there special and preserved. They are meant to be in their own way. Something to think about and smile, but never to repeat – Ridhima thought at the end of the day when she remained sleepless, stared at the ceiling with Aakash snuggled up in her arms.

Review - Left from Dhakeshwari By Kunal Sen

The author – Kunal Sen started an ideal genre of writer that India should muse on currently. After a long time, I read an Indian author who comprehended in non colloquial Indian English. The entire format initiates as scattered around in small parts and finally comes together only through the rich imagination of the reader. Being one of the initial reproduces of the author, I am highly expecting a more playful language.

The book - One of the best cover pages I have come across. The color of the page is dark with the most difficult art form to display. The content has 9 stories in it; all has a different form of human emotions. They are diverse in their own ways yet similar in one. The best and the diverse part of all the stories is that it tell us about the psyche of people and situations that stop them from running behind their instinct and holding on to our social glitches. The connections of human emotions and the real world are definitely the objects that thrive around us. That has helped the author to create a Melodrama of the stories. There is no humor anywhere in the book and the minute details of the pain and anguish of a person is conveyed well. The detailing to link the protagonist of each of the story is done by a small but permanent association. The love affair of Salt Lake has been associated with a scar. More that anyone who views the scar, the one having a scar will see it through her mind, even though not through her eyes. In another, the protagonist finds the link of his lost mother finally through the small case hidden far away from his eyes but would run through his mind.

On the Whole - An amazing read. Not at all ambiguous or something you can give away easily. The ideas of the stories are authentic yet very thought provoking. Language is an outlander in its own way. This book offer relationship the justice of truth and pushes it to the harsh reality, away from the fairy tale.

To The Author - Wish you success all the way for offering modern Indian literature a new step. All the Best Kunal for your next coming write-up.

Burden of sexuality: rape, harassment and premarital sex in Child Marriage

#Breakthroughtv adopts an article from my voice on Early Marriage:

http://www.breakthrough.tv/earlymarriage/2013/09/burden-sexuality-marital-rape-abuse-harassment/

Child marriage has devastating consequences on the child, on the family and in a long run, on the society. It is a dangerous practice which people undertake in the name of religion and culture. Poverty and illiteracy is the prime reason that leads to such action. Poverty makes a parent pull out the daughter from the school and sense of lack of security for the uneducated male dominance; they are forced to marry away the child. The child girl becomes a child bride in no time.

They are denied the chance to gain skills and knowledge to help lift them and their family out of poverty. They are often married to much older men, which makes it hard for them to assert their wishes and leaves them particularly vulnerable to domestic violence. As soon as they reach puberty, its time for motherhood for them and the risk of death during child birth is very high for these mothers.

Right from the very young age, they are not provided the fundamental space to voice their opinion or address their wish or needs. This makes them the silent victim of various domestic, social, economical, physical and mental traumas for their entire life. Moreover, she is not supported by the other women in the family as it is told to her that such abuse was “normal” and a wife’s duty to bear it. Often, if the child is married to the poor family, they are sent to beg, to work in brick kilns and other small time daily wages. Here, they again undergo violence, molestation and rape which give way to sexually transmitted diseases and HIV.

In a way, it is another system of bonded labor, One does not take consent if the child wants to marry the man chosen for her, just because she is married, she is exposed to abuses, threats, controlled set of work and non-consensual sexual relations

Complications in pregnancy and childbirth are the leading cause of death in girls aged 15-19 in low- and middle-income countries. 90% of adolescent pregnancies in the developing world are to girls who are already married.

Child brides are also vulnerable to obstetric fistula, a preventable yet debilitating injury resulting from obstructed labor or prolonged childbirth.

Child brides often face pressure from their husband’s family, their own family and the wider community to have children soon after marriage. They become mothers at an early age, which makes them more likely to experience early and frequent pregnancies. 

It is very difficult to for child brides to assert their wishes with their often older husbands. It is hard for them to exercise their right to family planning and to choose when and whether to have children.

There are strong correlations between maternal mortality rates and child marriage prevalence rates. A 10 per cent reduction in child marriage could be associated with a 70 per cent reduction in a country’s maternal mortality rates.

On the whole, if a greater number of children are born from mothers between the age of 15 and 18 and 65% of these mothers die during childbirth, it is obvious that the new born will undergo a mal nutritious upbringing finally resulting in a severe disruption in the ecology and man woman ratio.

Special needs for this age group of 18-24 yrs to fight against Child Marriage

The primary and the most important need for this age group are to free them from slavery, sexual harassment and duties. Education, awareness, economic stability and voice to address their requirement is the need of this hour.

Family stability is another big requirement. In rural India, a drunkard father and a hard working mother who works to earn money and run the household is a ritual. For all we would know, the mother has been a child bride who had been forced into slavery from the very early age and she still continues to do so.

A society of hungry and intoxicated male is also another reason to encourage child marriage in rural India.  While the girls are married off to save them from harassment, rape and pre-marital sexual exposure, the boys are married off to be prevented from intoxication and surrender to pre-marital sex and rape. As the circle of this toxic system goes round and round, we boil down to the need of this moment to be more of socio-economic than anything.

Children are to be educated, so that they learn what is good and what is not. These educated children would address and voice out to the senior and uneducated surrounding society of theirs. They would learn to be more human being and less of domestic being. Education would encourage economic stability in the household and thereby employment would be created. More the employment, more number of men would go to work and share equal financial and social responsibility.

When daughters would be pushed into child marriage, they would talk to their parents about their needs. They will be able to educate their parents about their learning. When a community will gradually come in term with a safe, accessible, quality schooling which will eventually create opportunities for girls to be self sufficient, earn an income and be someone more than a domestic being in the household, it is hard for parents to imagine an impractical alternative of a child marriage

It has been found that over the past 20 years, rates of child marriage in south Asia have declined for girls of 14 and under, yet marriage rates for older girls remain static. To put an end to child marriage, we need to combine work at the local and community levels with efforts to improve broader structural factors, such as access to quality education and more stable economic condition in the family by creating employment and enabling the parents with do’s and don’t of the socio-economic structure. Finally, as the circle comes back to where we had started, the need for this age group is definitely education and knowledge.

Giving the Youth a Face: Fight against Child Marriage

#Breakthroughtv adopts an article from my voice on Early Marriage:

http://www.breakthrough.tv/earlymarriage/2013/09/early-marriage-giving-youth-face/

Youth today is the voice of this nation; they are the face of tomorrow. The exposure they have to the entire world and the kind of mindset they adorn makes then the bright future of India tomorrow. Youth today is strong, goal oriented and organized. They are ambitious yet creative. They have a voice and a face of representation. They have the capacity to see beauty and to keep things that way, never getting worn out. They are the thought leaders today; they are esteem of the growing country.

On the other hand, in this country, there is a huge number of teenagers who do not grow up be a part of this promising group. They are the ones who grow up in the mercy of their existence in the hand of society, caste, creed and superstition. They are one who do not learn to voice their needs, do not learn to lead the group, do not see their teenage days and finally do not get the luxury of being the youth.

While one set of girls go to school, learn to play, sing, dance, understand what they want and what they need, there is another set of them, who before having an understanding of anything are pushed from playing with play kitchen to the kitchens of real. They are wasted when they are young. These girls are held back to take part in Social, political and economic life of the country, in a long run, the country is held back.

Families that are stationed in the remote part of the country are often poor. Unable to provide the basic securities of life had often gave way to parents to encourage the system of child marriage. This has later on taken the face of a rule or a part of the religious enforcement. In this regards, they often receive money and in exchange give their daughters, a security for life. In the remote places, the barter system of women and money being high, early marriages often settle the deal with less amount of expense. In a broader way, economy and exposure being low, the society has a darkness spread over their head. In order to escape everything, the parents often think of saving the daughters from being exploited by the counterpart of the society and sign in their favor. What they fail to follow is that, their daughters are being signed to be exploited further.

In spite of all the work being done, till today, every 1 out of 3 girls are married before they reach an age of 18. Again, every one out of nine girls will be married before their 15th birthday. It has been surveyed that most of these girls are poor, less-educated, and living in rural areas. While most countries allow girls to marry before they turn 18 with parental or other consent, the prime reason for forced child marriage underlies in poverty.

Reaching puberty should mark the beginning of a gradual transition to a healthy and productive adulthood. Instead, for many girls, puberty marks an accelerating trajectory into inequality. Child marriage is a primary source. Once a girl child reaches her puberty, she is pushed into sex and child birth by the in-laws curtailing a critical period for growth, learning, identity formation and experimentation: each of which is essential if maturation into fully rounded human beings is to be unhindered. There are laws and rules and legislatures that talk about Child marriage being illegal and unacceptable. What there isn’t the education to read these laws and understand them or the mobilizing capability to reach out to the remotest part of the country to educate the mass and to empower them?

Child Marriage has been embedded into a social and cultural facade of this country from ages now. To bring about any change in the system, there has to be a cultural and generational shift. And today, we are looking up only to the youth of this nation to can carry the torch and keep it burning. It is the youth who can go there and set examples, which can guide them and lead them and finally show them a brighter and better tomorrow.

Creating a Happy Holiday

Idea of a Happy Holiday is about never finishing holidaying.

Every time we went holidaying, I always hoped that the days will never end; I always thought that the knowledge gained by visiting places and absorbing the climate, culture and surrounding is greater than what books and degrees could coach us into. I remember debating with my father on this topic to which he would create a more potent theory to enlighten me that in order to meet the expenses of such holidays, one should study, go back to school and college and then to work and keep coming back to holidays. All I got from these conversations was that, we are going in circles. But I knew, someday, I will holiday my life.

I grew up, finished the pursuit of my happiness and drew a completion to my degrees. I then got myself enrolled as a member of the overhyped IT crowd and indulged in little breaks every now and then. Till one day, after about 9 years of this grinding, I realized that I am again going in the circles of life. The job I was doing is definitely not my path to holiday my life and this is not what I am meant for. I decided to walk out of this industry that day with no prior plan, I took to live my life and take along with me all those people who matters. I start my travel plan alone, my only companion, my photography gear.

The beautiful country, India, is travelled extensively by people across the world. How many of us in India have seen the country? I will do.

My travel planner is http://www.yatra.com and my destination is Incredible India. I started my rigorous planning and preparation of the itinerary. I promised myself to travel as much as I can, to experience to the most and to find myself something that I would love to do when I am back. Monsoon is lashing the country from corner to corner and I know that this is the best time to head out. My plan is extensive and what I look out to do is to invite the special people in my life, who are scattered across the country and who I get to talk to only over one of the many social networking sites, to travel with me when I pass their lives.

My travel starts from the southern extreme of the country, from the God’s own Country, Kerala. My closest of all friends always wanted a Houseboat experience and since he is the one who encouraged me to break away from the routine and chase my dreams, I plan to start my trip with him. I would be leaving for Kerala on the 10^th of August 2013. Starting from Alleppey  to Kumarakom and the kovalam, kanyakumari and the finally to Varkala where I would be joined by my little brother. Post that, my plan is to be back to Bangalore, see Nrityagram and head towards western ghats. Enjoy Sakleshpur, Kukke Subramanya, Dudhsagar and then Goa. There I would meet my closest friend and leave for Castle rock and head towards the Guntakal- Guntur route. Here, I would visit the Cumbum Lake, the oldest Man Made lake in Asia and then leave for Araku Valley. My route will take my from Araku to Koraput, a place where scenic beauty can be seen from 800 mts above sea level. I would absorb everything that I pass through and then go through Chilka lake to reach Bhubaneswar. My student day’s memories stay with me till day and I would meet my dear people who are still there, My next destination is Konark temple and Puri. Here, I meet my parents and spend a handful time with them and leave for Bodhgaya. This journey would be followed by Prayag, gaya, Kasi, Varanasi, Allahabad and finally to Agra. The beautiful sunrise in Fatehpur Sikri, the sun set in Taj Mahal and then start for Dharamshala or towards Ajmer Sharif or Waga Border through the Golden Temple.

My tour will continue ahead of this as this is what I have planned so far. I would meet people, make new friends, spend time with all the people scattered around the country, who have made a mark in my life sometimes or the other. I would also go Manali and meet my favorite teacher who had told my parents to make a human being out of me and not a scorecard, a nanny in Manipur, who had kissed my forehead and put me to sleep when my mother went to work. A friend in Sanchi, who had left his being and gone back to take care of his ailing parents and a handful of friend in Punjab who has always been there for me.

This would be my perfect trip. I want to do a lot more than just taking with me, a handful of people and making them happy. There are more than a handful of close friends and family who has made me who I am today and I want to make all of them happy. The biggest happiness that I can give anyone is my time.