Identify...The Me !!!

A clenching identity question keeps coming back now and then. Am I who I am?

When I watch the activity of the ones I truly adore and idealize, do I still not want to be another person?

I do…..I do….I do!!

This is the perfect way that I want to take a vow.

I do want to be what I want to do the best. I do want to be what makes me feel the Bliss of what I can be. I do want to spread my being across the horizon.

I want to make minor alterations in places which could have led me to where I want to be. I want to go ahead and take the risk of outshining in the skin of the rebellious me.

This is not dis-satisfaction….this is the urge to be able to make a difference. To outline myself with my doings and my look-outs to what I want myself to be seen as.

Life is not meant to be a bed of rose and for the ones like me…I do not want life to bed of rose. I do not look forward to a regular routine day, where I exactly when to do what and how to do it. It’s the unknown that attracts me. The romancing of the destroyed beauty and love that calls me to hold hand. Breaking the rules beckon me. I do not want to be bound and delegated my chores, I would react as I absorb from my surrounding what it wants to quench its thirst from me.

Memories from March !!

March came with vacation plans in hand.....to offer us a lot of joy and hope.

It was the perfect time of the year to let our heart float among the beauty of nature away from the maddening crowd. With you having to walk past me or walk with me…our heart did but catch glances of each other.

Those handfuls of beautiful days when we fell in love with our life all over again, we never wanted to let the time go.

Like every beautiful moment, the vacations came to an end and we went back to the days of balancing act. While you still tried to see the vacation person in me, I struggled to balance my steps. While I pondered on my balancing rope, I looked up to you to see if you were doing good on the balancing rope.

The balancing rope often got disgusting with time. It pulled us apart and made us realize the distance we still had to cover to reach either ends.

Finally, a time came when I said to myself, Vacation is over. You stood far away and to wave your hands and say that you want to let it pass since there are other loves in this world to keep you busy without mine. I remembered the famous saying, “There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice. – F. Scott Fitzgerald, 'The Sensible Thing'.

I let you go my vacation love for that’s how I would keep you close to my heart, away from the mad rush of life. You are the beautiful Boreal Songbird who comes back home to find my love. The sweet nothings, the difficult cold and the love hate – sweet complexities are here to be while I learn to follow your wings to the neverland.

Splashes of a Colorful Me !!

A day that does not start and lead with To Do lists, calendars and time tables…….a day that does not tell me what to wear to work and how to take care of things……..a day that does not tell me how to manage my time and get exhausted by the end of the day.

During these days when it does, I live with an unknown person in me who constantly is trying her best to be what she is not. The ‘me’ who is trying desperately to be the one who people wants to see in the midst of the excel sheet, ppt, meetings and headphones.

And finally …when the time comes for the paycheck…I am contented but not happy. Contented because this will take care of all my basic needs and commitments…..Happiness is not my basic need. A paycheck cannot take care of it.

Life looks like “In perfect shape” to others. Professional stability is the easiest way to link with financial stability and draw a measurement. What we miss is the most important look out…a breath of fresh air, an emotional strength to be with and peace. Professional stability and finance outlines the shape of our destiny. However, they don’t fill the color to ones life.

Unplanned splashes of color always looks beautiful compared to the straight lines and defined boxes with defined colors. Why should Nutmeg, the bird, be brown? Again the canyon, the bird, is brown in color as well? Why should all of them have to have only 1 color- brown? I know that there are 48 shades of brown.

Life should come to us in shades of colors, with splashes of moments. No definite shape.

Explore it, understand the need of the moment and do what makes us happy. It should not make us think too much over the past or worry too much about the future.

We barely try to plan about being sad in life…..then why do we even need to plan about being happy in life?????

Pieces of your smile ~ that never leaves my heart !!

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.

When we are young, our whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, we grow up and learn to be cautious. Sometimes we break a bone and most of the times we break our heart. We look before we leap and sometimes we don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch us……Sometimes we do not want to leap at all because we had fallen the last time we did. The one we thought was there for us…just stood there to see us break in pieces and take the pain.

Life is a series of chances. It’s for us to realize that there is no serendipity. We have to go on, fight it, avail, adopt and look ahead.

Read the signs, don’t miss them.The chances we keep looking for, are hidden there. Grabbing the smallest hint and working on them is best we can do. Rather than waiting and hoping on the next coming opportunity to be happy…should we not make amendments and changes to the one we have with us and make the best out of it? If moments of being together can be so beautiful, why not cherish it? Why should we say, “We will see how it works out!”?? Why wouldn’t we say “This is the best for us and we will make it work”??

One should never let our today slide away. Tomorrow will not replenish the best things in store for today. Take the chance and grab it today!! Who knows…. Tomorrow might have another surprise to cheer up and celebrate with.

Finally, there is one thing we should always know, in life, there's no safety net…….So the question is ……. when did it stop being fun and start being so scary??????